


A Personal Matter

by PinkPandorafrog



Series: Keeper [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Multi, Plot, still smut tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-05 15:09:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3124757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPandorafrog/pseuds/PinkPandorafrog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy never thought she'd be in Manhattan, working as Tony's PA. Thor is flirty, Tony is Tony, and nothing ever seems to be simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The sight of the sleek silver sports car- top down- pulling up to the lab caught her attention. Who the hell was driving way out to the middle of nowhere? Darcy stared over the top of her coffee cup, not even bothering to hide her interest. No one had parked there in ages. Darcy's own ancient car was around the side of the building, covered in dust and waiting for the weekly trip to the store for essentials.

The man who stepped out of the car almost made the sip she'd taken of her beloved beverage fall back out of her mouth, but she clamped her lips shut and simply stared. Holy balls. _Was that Tony Stark?_ She swallowed heavily, not even daring to blink.

It wasn't as though they'd ever met. He was a friend of a friend or something? Whatever. But now he was out here in the middle of nowhere, walking purposefully- strutting. If anyone ever deserved that verb in the history of ever, it was the man in the tailored, charcoal-colored suit. He was strutting over to the glass door, and then it opened and then-

- _I'm breathing the same air as Tony Stark._

That realization prompted Darcy to remember to breathe, and she sucked in air through her nose like she was starved for it. She felt woefully under-dressed in her tank top and black yoga pants- but at least she was dressed! There was no one around... Naked times usually happened after dark, though. Even though there was no one around, it didn't mean that there wasn't the _potential_ for anyone to be around.

Like right now. He'd come out of nowhere.

She sat there at the scuffed old desk, laptop open in front of her but completely forgotten, and watched him strut through the mostly-empty lab to stop just a couple feet away from the other side of the desk. He was even more gorgeous in person than he was on the covers of magazines.

He was smirking as he looked down at her. “Darcy Lewis?”

Her mouth moved for a second before actual sounds came out. “Yes?” She felt vaguely ashamed at the shabby condition of the furniture. It wasn't like interning in Science! was exactly bringing in boat-loads of cash.

She couldn't see his eyes behind his shades, but she could almost _feel_ him looking at her. “I want you to work for me.”

That kickstarted her brain into motion again. Jane had abandoned her for more Science! times with Erik. They were in... Somewhere in Northern Europe, from Jane's last call. From the way Jane had been talking, there wasn't really going to be room for 'non-essential personnel', so Darcy had taken one for the team and had officially decided that she'd rather stay where she was in the good old US of A. Her not going would mean that Thor would be able to go, not that they were remotely the same size. But true love and all that... Her volunteering to stay was the official story, although after the first week of kicking around in the empty lab, completely unemployed, she was starting to regret that decision. _Non-essential personnel, my ass. Bet she's not even eating properly, Erik's just as bad as she is._

Wait. Tony Stark was a friend of a friend, which meant Thor, which meant... “Oh no,” she said, shaking her head emphatically as she stood up, pushing her desk chair back on its wheels. “There is no way in hell I'm working for SHIELD.” Assholes still had her iPod. Even though Thor being on Earth was actually a Thing now, and pictures of him were on Facebook, like, every day.

The smirk dropped off his face and he sighed, lifting one hand up to take off his sunglasses. He made a show of folding them and tucking them into his breast pocket, and when he looked back up at her, she could see how _tired_ he looked. Like, _she_ could have taken him, and he was _Iron Man._ “Not SHIELD. Me. Well...” He turned away, walking towards the full floor-to-ceiling plate glass windows that made up the entire front wall of the defunct lab, his footsteps echoing just a little on the bare concrete floor. “Stark Industries. Which really means you'll be working for Pepper...”

She stared after him, blinking furiously to try to follow what she was saying. She'd heard he was eccentric. She was used to eccentric, scientists all sort of fit that bill- at least the ones she knew personally. But this made absolutely no sense. She was a few credits shy of her Poli-Sci degree, her real-world-job-experience was limited to chasing Jane around, and everything _that_ entailed... “Why?”

He was silent for a moment, his back still to her as he gazed out over the desert. It was a pretty nice view if you happened to like deserts out in the middle of nowhere. At last, though, he turned towards her. “Pepper seems to think I need a keeper.” The words were stiff, as though he was completely offended by the suggestion.

“Ooookay...” That didn't really answer the question.

“And since she's too busy running everything to 'manage' me,” she could almost see the implied air-quotes, “you have been suggested to be my personal assistant.”

 _Oh._ That was the one real-world job she really did have experience in. “Why?” she asked again. Why all of it? Why her, why was _he_ out here making the job offer himself, why... Just why?

“You've had experience with,” he spread his arms wide, “all of this.” His mouth twisted back into a smirk. “Thor mentioned something about a Taser, that was the deciding factor.”

Darcy glanced a little guiltily at the desk drawer that, at that very moment, held her Taser and nothing else. It was even fully-charged and everything. “To- Mr. St-”

“Tony.” He cut her off before she could even figure out what to finish calling him. He didn't seem at all surprised that she knew who he was without his having to formally introduce himself, but then there was probably no one in the entire country who didn't know who Tony Stark was.

“Right.” Not that she was actually ready to casually address Tony Stark by his first name. “Why are you here?”

She could see the muscle working in his cheek, and he took the shades out of his pocket, opening them with a flick of his wrist before sliding them back on. “I wanted to take a drive.” All cool confidence, completely shrugging her question away.

“Uh... Do I have to do an interview or something?” She'd gone through the motions with Jane, even though she'd been the only applicant.

“We can do that in the car.” Flippant, like it didn't even matter.

She glanced from him through the glass to where his car was shining in the sun. “Right now?”

“Right now.” He took a step towards her like he was going to manhandle her out to the car if he needed to. “Long drive, we'll need something to talk about.” He stared at her for a moment from behind the dark sunglasses. “Look, Ms. Lewis-”

“Darcy,” she corrected him automatically. Ms. Lewis always made her feel like she was two minutes away from being an old lady with a cat problem.

“Darcy,” he went on, accepting it without hesitation. “Pepper is very good at _her_ job. Which means that if she says that you would be perfect for _this_ job, then...” The expression on his face went at once from amused smirk to charming smile, making her heart skip a beat. His smile was... it needed to be illegal. That wasn't at all right. He moved over to where she was still standing behind her desk and reached out to-

 _Tony Stark just put his arm around my shoulders and I think I'm going to die._ He smelled amazing, like cologne and just a hint of machine oil, and she wondered how badly the job offer would be affected if she buried her face in his shoulder and just breathed him in for a while.

She let him move her out from behind her desk and propel her towards the stairs that led up to the tiny room she slept in. Somehow he knew where she slept? This was...

“Go get packed up,” came the confident directive.

“Uh huh.” She was already halfway up the stairs when she realized that she'd basically just agreed to uproot her life and move to New York. All without actually saying much beyond one- and two-word questions. She glanced down at him over her shoulder, but he had already moved over to the window again and appeared to be quietly talking on the phone. How did he do that?

Of course he knew where she slept. There was nowhere downstairs to sleep, it was one big, open room with a single desk and chair in it. Ooh, her laptop! Couldn't forget that.

It didn't take her long to get packed up. She'd basically been living out of her suitcase for the past- ugh, too long- anyway, all she needed to do was throw the rest of her meager wardrobe in the suitcase along with the toiletries from the tiny bathroom.

He had the sunglasses back off, and his eyes focused in on her suitcase as she walked back down the metal stairs. “Is that it?”

The slight disbelief in his tone made her retort, “Well, I wanted to bring the lab, too, but I didn't see anything to hook it to on your car.” She stopped by the desk, the suitcase falling to the floor with a loud clatter as she dropped it to settle her laptop into its portable case. Charger, phone charger... She didn't have pockets, so she settled for tucking her phone away with her laptop.

When she glanced up at him, he was grinning in apparent appreciation of her comeback. “For a second there, I thought you weren't going to do anything but stare at me with those big eyes of yours. Feel free to continue, obviously, but I'm going to need more than one- or two-word responses from you.”

“It's not like I was exactly expecting Tony Stark to come rolling up to my abandoned lab and tell me he was driving me back to New York.” She gave a wistful look to the mostly-full mug still sitting on her desk, undoubtedly completely cold. “And I didn't even get to finish my morning coffee.” Well, the second cup, anyway. The day couldn't even start without a first cup gulped down standing in the tiny kitchen with her almost burning her tongue in her eagerness to get the caffeine into her bloodstream.

“We'll get some on the road.” He looked over her again, and for a second she thought he was going to come and take her suitcase. But then he turned away, striding quickly to the front door and pulling it open, gesturing his free hand through it.

“Right,” she murmured. She took one last look around the large room. Technically her name was on the rental agreement with the owner of the place. It had been transferred to her when Jane had decided to leave the country, but if Tony Stark knew to find her all the way out here in the middle of nowhere, there was a good chance that whole thing had been taken care of. Maybe that was another on-the-road conversation. How long would it take to get from New Mexico to New York anyway? Squaring her shoulders, she picked up the black case and walked determinedly across the concrete until she passed by him, stepping out into the bright sunshine.

“Are you hungry?” He fell in step beside her, shades back on to protect his eyes from the bright sun. He did take her suitcase now, tossing it carelessly into the narrow space behind the two bucket seats. “I'm hungry.”

Darcy was never one to turn down a meal, although there really wasn't anything around that was really good. Just the shitty little cornerstore and the grocery store that had kept her and Jane well-stocked in Pop-Tarts. And the truckstop.

Tony opened the driver's side door and, unbuttoning the single button that held his suit jacket together, slid easily into the driver's seat. He looked up at her from his new vantage point, smirking as though he knew how much she'd been admiring the way his pants had pulled tight over his ass just as he'd sat down. “You have to get in the car, Darcy.”

It was inappropriate to think about him that way if she was going to be his PA. She'd never thought about Jane that way. Not that Jane wasn't cute, but she didn't have an ass like _that_... Thor was a different story, all those muscles... But then, she'd technically really never been Thor's PA. Wasn't that a rule? Don't lust after your boss?

“Shouldn't I drive, if I'm going to be your assistant?” She was teasing him mostly- teasing? Where had that come from? Like, five minutes ago she'd just about been staring and drooling. That was a good sign, right? She was pretty sure her job was going to require her actually having conversations with the man. But it would be a _nice_ car to drive.

“I always drive. Just ask Happy.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask who Happy was, but instead she walked around to the passenger side door and opened it. The gray leather interior was _really_ comfortable, she discovered as she sank down into the seat, automatically doing up the seat belt after she set the laptop case by her feet. Tony hadn't put his on. Would it be okay to lecture him on seat belt safety if she wasn't his assistant yet? Probably not. “There's really nowhere to eat around here.” She took the opportunity to look around the car that had probably cost more money than she'd ever seen in her life. There were more screens and button-things than she was used to seeing in a car, but it looked like it would go places pretty quickly. And apparently going places meant New York?

“JARVIS,” he said, and Darcy just about jumped out of her seat belt when a really posh British accent answered, “Yes, sir?” The voice seemed to be coming out of the speakers. Speaker phone or something, hooked up to the car? Maybe that's who he had been calling?

“Where's the closest place to get...” Tony turned to Darcy and contemplated her for a moment. “I'm feeling Greek.”

“Fifty-two miles, sir.” There wasn't even a second of hesitation before a screen on the dash between them lit up with what looked like a GPS route, because of course Iron Man would have a car full of gadgets.

Tony looked at the dash between them and then turned the keys in the ignition, the car immediately roaring to life. He adjusted the rearview mirror, gave Darcy one final grin, and then turned the car out to the main road.

Thinking about who she was sitting in the car with was pushing her curiosity very quickly to the cannot-be-contained level, and she twisted to look in the backseat for a second. She was a little disappointed to see only her suitcase sitting there, just about in the middle of the narrow space. She turned back to look at her- boss?- staring at him for a second before asking, “Do you have the-”

“Suit?” He didn't even look away from where he was paying attention to his driving, but he sounded almost smug that she'd asked, like he'd been waiting for her to do so. “Under my seat, it's the fastest place to get at it.”

They pulled carefully from the dusty drive onto the asphalt of the main road, and then Darcy's next thought was that, of course Iron Man likes to drive fast. “So how is this going to work, exactly?” she asked, having to raise her voice to be heard over the sound of the air rushing around the car.

“Pepper will fill you in when we get there. I had to promise I wouldn't say anything.” He sounded both exasperated and amused by that, as though he was completely serious about what he'd said.

“Is is the Science! thing? You get so wrapped up in it that you forget to, you know, eat, sleep, all of that?”

“Partly, yeah.”

She nodded, completely understanding. “Technically I was an intern, but I don't astrophysics, so I was more of a keeper than anything else.” She remembered that he'd said much the same thing about her potential job description. “Feed the scientist, walk the scientist, make sure the scientist gets enough sleep...” And lovin'. She had to grin to herself as she thought about the rather drastic change Thor had brought to their lives. Though Thor was really better at taking care of that part than Darcy was. Jane weighed, like, the same as a cat, and Thor would just scoop her up and walk on out with her. That brought a wistful sigh as she thought about Ian.

Poor Ian. He hadn't been able to handle it. And she was pretty sure he had a bit of an inferiority thing about Thor. Well, Thor was all huge and manly...

She took a glance over at the man beside her. He was staring at the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting along the top of the door. Well, if she couldn't lust after her boss, there had to be someone else she get freaky with. It had been entirely too long since she'd had any action. New York was huge, right? And Stark Industries was bound to be huge, maybe there would be a cute guy named Tim in Finance. She could definitely go for a cute guy named Tim in Finance.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Apparently the answer to, 'How long does it take to get from New Mexico to New York?' was about a day, with how Tony drove. Around 24 hours. She'd slept, lolled back against the seat. He'd put the top up and even produced a snuggly blanket from somewhere for her to tuck up under her chin. It had been surprisingly easy to sleep in a strange car with some strange dude. Of course, that strange dude happened to be Iron Man, friend of a friend and all that.

He hadn't slept, and judging by the phone calls he'd taken, he was going to get an earful about it when they got to the Avengers Tower.

She'd learned a lot during the drive, not like there was anything other than talking to do except staring out the window. JARVIS was an AI that Tony had patched into his car, suit, and everywhere else he was needed. His voice was actually kinda soothing, once she got used to the idea that he was always listening. Like, always. Good for security, though, right? A shout for help would always be heard? 'Cause... shit had a habit of going sideways.

And the Avengers Tower was named that way because that's where the Avengers lived. SHIELD had been deactivated or whatever happened to secret government groups when they stopped running- she was pretty sure Thor hadn't mentioned anything about that, at least not to her- so Tony was housing the Avengers in the middle of Manhattan, where they could still go out and do their heroic do-goodery.

And Tony had no idea whether or not there was a cute guy in Finance named Tim, and seemed really amused that she'd asked. It hadn't hurt to ask.

She was comfortable with calling him Tony by the time they reached the large, dark tower. After all, she'd both snored and drooled in front of him, and if that didn't put them on a first-name basis, nothing would.

There was an underground garage, which JARVIS opened for them on their arrival. The sheer number of sleek, shiny cars made Darcy's eyebrows fly up and her jaw drop open. She'd been all prepared to ask Pepper about having her own car towed over from New Mexico, but if this was what there was to offer... Her old car could sit out there until it rusted. More. Rusted more.

She got out of the car, leaving the snuggly blanket behind on the seat, instead grabbing both her suitcase and her laptop. Tony waited until she moved around to the back of the car where he was standing, and then led her over to a pair of steel double-doors that opened into an elevator.

“Ms. Lewis,” JARVIS intoned.

“Darcy,” she corrected without thinking.

“Yes, ma'am.” She looked over at Tony and mouthed, 'Ma'am?' He actually snickered. “Your meeting with Ms. Potts is set for tomorrow morning. If you get off of the elevator when it stops, I'll direct you to your new apartment.”

A new apartment? She was going to be living here with... everyone? That was... Not something that had come up. She'd just assumed that she'd get a cheap room somewhere in the city and commute in or whatever, but apparently...

A shower, though. That sounded awesome. Her apartment had to have a shower. Or a bath... She almost moaned out loud at the thought. A bath would be just the best ever.

“It's okay, JARVIS, I'll show her.” That statement had Darcy's eyes flying up her forehead again. She'd fully expected to part company with her boss- future boss?- as soon as the elevator stopped.

“You, sir, have a meeting with Ms. Potts right now.” Was it even possible for an AI to sound faintly scolding? Because that's exactly how JARVIS sounded.

Tony gave a slight shake of his head, directing his attention to Darcy instead of addressing the voice again. “It's fine. I can show you.”

“I'll let Ms. Potts know that you'll be late.” And pointed resignation? Apparently JARVIS was a little more complex than she'd given him credit for.

The elevator slid to a stop, and Darcy's stomach did that flipping thing that elevators always made it do. The doors slid open, admitting her into a _very_ nice foyer, with elegant-looking couches that she was afraid to sit on, and a large TV up on one wall, and-

“Thor?” she exclaimed in disbelief. Tony had mentioned him, but she figured that since Thor had the flying-around-the-world powers, his presence was more of a commute in for work type of thing. But there he was getting up from the couch; jeans, impossibly tight t-shirt, bare feet...

“Lady Darcy!” he exclaimed with a broad grin, as though seeing her was the highlight of his day. Thor was many things, subtle not of one them. He moved across the thick-looking gray carpet to her, picking her up into a crushing hug, twirling her around until she was laughing.

She was slightly breathless and more than slightly dizzy when he set her on her feet, and she had to grab his arm to keep from falling over. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here, Lady Darcy.”

She blinked up at him in silence for a few long seconds. “Ooookay.” She was aware of an arm around her shoulders- even after a day in a car he smelled amazing- and then insistent pressure as Tony just started leading her away. She twisted her head to look over her shoulder at her friend. “Let me get settled in, we'll catch up.” She caught his nod. “Lunch?”

“I look forward to it.”

She faced forward again. If Tony was taking her to her apartment, she might want to pay attention to how to get there. The Avengers Tower was big, it wouldn't do to get lost trying to find her way around. Not that JARVIS probably wouldn't be able to help her out.

The hall curved gently around to the left, doors on either side. There were no door numbers or anything, how was she going to tell which one was hers? It was way too late to start counting. “I'm putting my name on my door.”

He snickered, like she wasn't being absolutely serious. How he knew which gleaming metal door to stop at was a complete mystery. But he stopped and gestured to the little keypad beside the door. “This is you. There's instructions for how to set it up inside.” He keyed a four-digit code in that she completely missed, a series of rapid beeps signaling each key press. He turned the knob and pushed it open, revealing a living room. Like, this was an actual apartment. An apartment-sized apartment. Bigger than where she'd been staying above the lab, that was for sure.

She stepped inside, more fluffy gray carpet. The furnishings were all plain, black and white, but looked new and comfortable. “Wow.” This was definitely a wow apartment, and she hadn't even seen all of it.

“Feel free to decorate however you want, order off the internet or go shopping or whatever.” She got the distinct impression that he was stalling for time, putting off the earful that he was bound to get from his- their?- boss.

“But I haven't said I'd take the job. I don't know that I'm staying.” She turned around to look at him, unsurprised to find him smirking again. Her movement caused his arm to drop from her shoulders, making her remember that it had still been there. How was she so comfortable with him already that she'd just forget?

“You're here. Pepper's... very persuasive.” He was looking at her, eyes still hidden behind his sunglasses. “Need anything?”

He sounded so tired, she felt a flash of pity and hoped that Pepper was too hard on him. The man had been awake for the last two days, she really doubted he'd stopped for a nap on the way out to get her. And from the way he talked about Pepper, he was half-in love with her, and half-intimidated by her. Darcy could only imagine the kind of women that would intimidate Tony Stark.

“I'm good. There's towels, right?”

She got the distinct impression that he was ogling her. “In the bathroom. Want me to scrub your back?”

Tony was a _flirt_. Like he did it professionally or something. She put her hands on his upper arm and pushed him towards the door. “Out.”

“I'll have you know I'm an excellent back-washer.”

 _I can't lust after my boss, I can't lust after my boss._ “Goodbye, Tony.”

He grinned at her before opening the door and admitting himself into the hallway, leaving her alone for practically the first time in the past 24 hours.

It had been an interesting one. If someone had told her yesterday morning that she'd be kicking Tony Stark out of her apartment because he was flirting with her, she would have wondered exactly what they were smoking. She wasn't altogether unsure that _she_ hadn't been smoking and this was all some sort of elaborate hallucination.

She put her suitcase down on the floor and pinched her own arm. “Ouch!” Definitely not a dream, anyway.

Well, this called for some exploration. There was a kitchen, all shiny and new, with one of those Keurig machines she'd been eying as soon as they'd come out, and a rack of K-Cups beside it. That did it. She'd take any job that included a Keurig as one of its perks.

There was a large bathroom, with a separate bath and walk-in shower. There was a fluffy white towel hanging from the rack, and a fluffy terrycloth bathrobe on a hook on the back of the door that looked roughly her size.

And the bedroom... The bed on its own was just about the same size as the closet she'd had above the lab. And when she laid down on it, head on the mound of pillows at the top, it was tempting to just not get up again. But she'd promised Thor lunch, and she really wanted to know what was going on with all of _that_.

So instead she had a bath. It was heavenly. The sunken tub was deep, and long enough for her to completely relax with her legs stretched out. It had been tempting to run a shower and test the limits of how much hot water she could expect, but when she laid back against the clear, inflatable bath pillow and closed her eyes, she had to admit that she'd really made the better choice.

There was a variety of scented bodywash, and she chose one that was refreshing, cucumber and mint, scrubbing before settling back for a real soak.

She lingered until the water was tepid, already having run fresh hot water twice. She had no idea what time it was, but she didn't want to be in the bath when it was time to meet Thor for lunch. So, almost reluctantly, she pulled herself out of the bath and toweled off. She was going into the bedroom where she'd tucked her suitcase when she realized, “JARVIS, what time is it?” The omnipresent AI was going to take a lot of getting used to.

“11:52.” It would be creepy if he wasn't so polite and unobtrusive. Did he have to sound so much like a real person, though?

That was close enough to lunchtime, right? Where would she even find Thor? And speaking of finding someone, she had something she needed to do first. She got dressed- it was nice to wear clean clothes after 24 hours in the last ones.

There was a Sharpie in her laptop case. She pulled it out, along with her phone. The phone went into the front pocket of her jeans, the Sharpie held in her hand until she went to the front door and opened it. Uncapping the marker, she wrote her name across the door in large, bold letters. Nodding in satisfaction when she was done, she capped the Sharpie and put it in her other jeans pocket. There. Now she wouldn't get lost. “JARVIS, do I need to do this code-thing now, or can you just buzz me in or something?”

“I can buzz you in.” Did he sound... Amused? Just a trace?

“Great!” He probably had other things to do with his time than be buzzing everyone in all the time, so the whole code-thing made sense. Still, though. Nice if she was too drunk to remember her code.

Not that she was going to get that drunk right now. Or ever. Well, probably not that last one. Assuming she got time off. Thor was a _great_ drinking buddy.

She checked her pocket for her phone and then let the door shut, swinging heavily closed behind her. Tony had turned her left to get into her apartment, right? So that meant she needed to turn right? She was just turning when she saw a familiar large blond was walking towards her. He had more of a stride than a strut, though definitely not any less confidence than Tony.

He looked the same as he had when he'd greeted her at the elevator, down to the same broad grin on his face, and she ran over to him and gave him another hug just because she could. He hugged her back, holding her close against him, this time without the lifting and spinning. “I did _not_ expect to see you here!” she exclaimed as she pulled back, and the grin on his face faltered a little. Apparently that was a touchy subject.

But after just a second, he beamed down at her anyway. “Come, Lady Darcy, allow me to escort you to the dining hall.”

He apparently had as easy of a time finding his way around as Tony did. He led her further down the hall until it opened up into a wide, wood-floored room. The 'dining hall' looked to be a cafeteria, dotted with a handful of tables and accompanying chairs. There was an open kitchen on one side, complete with a chef who was busy making lunch for-

_Holy shit, is that actually Captain America?_

Darcy knew she was staring, but she just couldn't stop. He was just _so pretty_. Thor was pretty too, but completely off-limits. Captain America, though...

Thor clapped a hand on her back just a little too hard. She stumbled, coughing, and he grabbed her elbow to right her.

“This is the best job ever,” she murmured, prying her eyes away from Captain America's shoulders. And technically it hadn't even started yet.

“Come! Feast!” His hand stayed on her elbow as he led her over to where the chef was making... Some sort of magical hamburgers that smelled like perfectly seasoned beef and mouth-orgasms. They had _bacon_ on them. Like, grilling right _on top_ of the hamburger.

“Are you here all day?” Darcy wasn't drooling, honest. Well, maybe a little. She licked her lips and swallowed, eyes fixed on the grilling meat.

“Just for mealtimes.” The chef offered her a friendly smile. “What can I get for you? Anything you want.”

“Anything?” She reached out and pointed at the grill. “I want that. With cheese. And onions.” She stared at the patties. “Just one, though. With, like... fries?”

“Can do. Your name?”

Was this like Starbucks where she'd get called when her order was ready? “Darcy. Hey, where can I get a drink?”

He gestured with his spatula to the end of the counter where there was a pointed lack of a cash register, and beyond it to a glass-front refrigerator.

“Want something to drink?” she asked Thor, heading down to check out what was available.

“Bring me beer.”

She turned her head and stared back at him for a second, then went and stood in front of the fridge. He was giving her shit, wasn't he? Give the new girl a hard time? Before she had a chance to examine the contents, though, she noticed that tucked on the other side of it was a coffee machine with, like, _fancy_ coffees and lattes and cappuccino and things. “I may never leave this place.”

Shaking her head, she looked at the fridge. Soda of all kinds and, sure enough, a couple of rows of beer on the bottom. That was different. She'd never seen beer in any of the coolers in the cafeterias at Culver.

She glanced back at Thor again, and then opened the fridge, stooping down to get a bottle out. She knew what he liked to drink. Setting it on the counter, she went and got herself some coffee, and headed back with the drinks just in time to see the chef hand Thor his hamburgers that seemed to be resting on a tray made entirely of fries. Well, Thor did eat a lot. She knew first hand exactly how big his appetite was. Their grocery bill had _tripled_.

He gestured for her to precede him, and she went and sat down at a nearby table where she was still close enough to smell her own burger cooking.

It didn't take long before her food was ready too, and they both settled in to eat. He consumed his large meal in just about the same amount of time it took her to eat hers, and then they sat back, both completely full.

“So why are you here?” Finally asking the question she'd been dying to since she'd first seen him. “I thought you were in Sweden or wherever Jane is now.”

“I have been here since she left, Lady Darcy.” That wasn't really an answer to her question, but the expression on his face told her that maybe she wasn't the only one who'd been left behind.

“Oh.” Yeah. So this sucked. “Have you talked to her recently?”

He just shook his head before pulling his bottle to his lips and taking a long drink. Jane hadn't mentioned anything about her and Thor having problems, but she tended to be an avoider.

“She can be a bit hard to get ahold of.” If ever there was a time for a subject change, it was now. “How do you even find your way around this place, anyway? I'm worried I'll get lost when I wake up in the morning. Just wake up and, bam! Lost.”

“I'll find you if you get lost.” He looked completely serious when he said that, too.

She looked at him, really looked at him. He was her friend, and she was worried, especially now that... Oh, she was going to have to call Jane later. Tomorrow. Time zones. But he looked okay. There was a new scar on the right side of his jaw and he looked a little tired, but... okay. “Look. I know I'm here to be Tony's PA or whatever, but if you need anything, let me know.”

His large hand dropped down over where hers was resting on the table, completely swallowing it in his gentle grasp. “Thank you, Lady Darcy.” The intensity in his blue eyes made her look away, and her eyes landed on Captain America- who now had a dining companion. Screw Tim in Finance, maybe she could just go over there and introduce herself.

Yeah right. Like she'd be able to do it without drooling and staring and dropping into dazed monosyllables.

“Damn, is everyone who works here just really hot and muscly or something?” She thought she'd kept her voice down, but across the table, Thor roared with laughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Thor. Uh, notes? I don't really think I have any? This is actually more plot-heavy than I'd planned, but... it's going.


	3. Chapter 3

Darcy was sitting across the desk from Pepper Potts, again feeling way under-dressed. She'd put on a green blouse-y thing and her nicest pair of black pants in preparation for her meeting-slash-interview, but Pepper, as she'd insisted on being called, was immaculate in a smooth cream skirt and a lilac cowl-necked shirt that looked a lot like cashmere and probably cost more than Darcy's ancient car. Pepper had a firm handshake, Darcy had discovered at the door to her immense office, and now the two were sitting and looking at each other.

“I thought you'd be bigger,” Darcy admitted. Pepper was taller than she was, but had a slim build.

A look of surprise came over the other woman's face. “Why's that?”

“Tony's scared of you.”

Pepper looked down at the papers stacked neatly across her desk as though she was trying to hide the smile that spread across her face. “I don't know that scared is quite the right word.” She looked back up. “Speaking of Tony, what did he tell you about the job?”

“Not much.” Darcy leaned back against the tall padded back of the chair, trying to get comfortable. This chair felt like it was trying to force her to have good posture. “He said he wasn't allowed. Just that I'm going to be his PA. Said he needed a keeper.”

“Yes.” Pepper's eyebrows moved expressively as she spoke. “Before I became the CEO of the company, I was Tony's assistant for...” She shook her head and smiled again. “We've been trying to find him a replacement, but we can't keep the position filled. He can be a bit trying.” The way her lips pressed together at the end of the statement made Darcy wonder exactly what she was getting herself into. “In addition to basic administrative duties, you may be required to...” her lips pressed together again as though she was trying to figure out what to say. “Handle him.”

That sounded... That sounded dirty. And while Darcy liked sex as much as the next girl and Tony was, you know, really hot, getting paid to have sex with her boss wasn't exactly up her alley. It couldn't be as dirty as it sounded. “As in...”

“Make sure he eats properly, sleeps properly, say goodbye to his,” the lip-pressing thing again, “losses of discretion.”

 _Not_ prostitution, then. Well, that was kind of a relief. “Yeah, I already did all that with Jane. Most of it, anyway. Losses of discretion?”

“Sometimes he entertains female guests overnight.”

“Oh. OH.” Everything clicked into place. Get rid of morning-after awkwardness. “Right. Okay. Yeah, I can do that.” Although, questions. Why did he bring home one-night-stands if he and Pepper were a Thing? Were they not Thinging anymore? Darcy decided that now might not be the most appropriate time to ask that.

Pepper sat back and looked at her, one finger tapping on top of the thickest stack of paper, the one directly in front of her. “Let me be frank with you.” A bitten-back comment about how Darcy thought the other woman's name was Pepper. “The man is basically a sexual-harassment lawsuit waiting to happen. If he does anything, and I mean _anything_ that makes you uncomfortable, I want you to come directly to me.” There was the same mix of fondness and exasperation that Darcy had heard from Tony when he talked about Pepper.

“Will do.” She already knew Tony was a flirt, that wasn't really news.

Pepper slid the thickest stack of paper across the desk, already turned so that Darcy could read it. It appeared to be stapled together in the upper left-hand corner, though it probably took a staple gun to get through all of this. “This is your employment contract.”

Darcy eyed it dubiously. “It's... Big.”

Pepper definitely sounded amused when she said, “It is. We'll go through it point by point. If you have any questions at any time, just jump right in.”

“Ooookay.”

The next little while was spent poring over the lengthy document, initialing and signing so often that Darcy was getting sick of her own name. There was a _lot_ , but it was pretty straightforward. It started with a standard NDA, Jane had actually had her sign one of those, too. Most interesting was that while Tony was technically her boss, Pepper was the only one with the ability to make changes to her employment contract. Or fire her.

Then Pepper slid the next-thickest stack of paper, which was actually some sort of book, bound in red-and-gold cardstock. It was the employee handbook. Pepper went through and pointed out some of the different sections, but mostly it was left for Darcy to go through on her own. More like, set on the kitchen counter and forget about. Seriously, did anyone ever read employee handbooks?

The next stack was security paperwork, and Darcy was stood up briefly against the blank wall while a smiling young woman- Pepper's assistant- came in and took her picture for her badge.

The final stack was attached to a clipboard, and appeared to be Tony's schedule and notes on his current projects, as well as personal notes like what he liked to eat. Pepper said that this could be converted into tablet-form, which Darcy readily accepted. Carrying around a tablet sounded a lot better than carrying around a clipboard.

Pepper made a note on a little pad of paper that sat to the side. “I'll have it delivered to your apartment this afternoon.”

They each had two stacks of paper when everything was done, and a glance at her phone showed Darcy that it was just about time for lunch.

Pepper sat forward, clasping her hands on the shiny surface of the desk in front of her. “I want to make this very clear, Darcy. You're living on the same floor as the Avengers, but you're not working with the Avengers. You're working for Stark Industries.”

It seemed important, but Darcy wasn't really getting the big difference that Pepper was trying to impart to her. “Why there, then? I mean, don't get me wrong, I super-love my apartment, but isn't there, like, staff apartments on a different floor?”

Pepper sighed. “Yes. But you are situated where you will least-distract the inner workings of Stark Industries.”

Darcy's eyes narrowed as she tried to figure out what that meant. Nothing was coming to mind. “I don't...”

The lip-pressing thing. “Expect Tony to drop in on you. You'll be lucky if he knocks. He likes to be involved in everything, and since you're technically the sole staff member dedicated completely to him, he'll...”

“Be involved,” Darcy finished after the other woman trailed off. “Right.” She could just imagine the reaction if Tony showed up where the housekeepers lived at odd hours. _Well. This should be interesting._

“Even though it's been a long time since I've been his assistant, he still expects the same thing from any assistant that he had from me.” A rueful look moved over Pepper's face for just a second. “I was very good at my job, and very devoted to my job.”

“Good to know. Where does he even live?”

“He has a penthouse on the floor above yours, and an apartment down by his lab.” Pepper gestured to the shiny new smartphone that had shown up at some point. “There's an app on there that connects to his hardware that will tell you where he is.”

“Hardware?”

“Phone, car, watch, and the suit. In addition, JARVIS usually knows where he is.” Was that much tracking really necessary?

Darcy's ears perked at the very second word Pepper had said. “Car. Speaking of which, I left mine, um... Well, I left it. And it was kinda a piece of crap anyway. So if I have to get out and about...”

“You can take a company car.” Hopefully one of the pretty, shiny things down in the garage. “We have drivers on staff if you need them.” Pepper pulled out a file from somewhere under the surface of her desk and opened it. Darcy had just a short chance to see her own picture paper-clipped the the front inside cover. Pepper read down the paper on the right side of the folder. There was a lot of paper in the office for an building that was devoted to high-tech engineering. Probably not the best time to talk about that, either. “It says here that you own your car.” Her eyes turned up to look at Darcy again. “Would you like to do anything with it?”

They had a file on her. That wasn't really surprising as a concept, but to see it sitting out in front of her in all of its manilla-foldered glory was kinda... “I don't need it. I'm not really sure it would survive a trip here? I don't know, sell it for scrap? It's pretty much toast.” Overwhelming. Kinda overwhelming.

Pepper must have picked up something in her tone, because she closed the file and the smile she gave Darcy was very warm, very comforting. “This is a lot to process. Why don't you take the afternoon and go and explore the city? Get out for a little a bit, stretch your legs. You have an expense account, Nina will give you your card on your way out, along with your badge.”

Darcy seemed to remember something about the expense account. Unlimited, even though the salary had just about made her eyes fall out of their sockets. She wondered if all of the PAs Tony had gone through had been given this much leeway to begin with, or if they were simply counting on her to tough it out. “Yeah. I can do that.” She was due to start her job the following morning, and getting out for a bit sounded pretty awesome. Shoes. She definitely needed new shoes for her job, right?

“G in the elevator will take you down to the garage. If you need a driver, you can ask JARVIS, or there's an intercom down there. Do you have any more questions?”

This meeting was apparently being wrapped up. Darcy did have one more question. “What about dating coworkers?”

That was the first thing she'd said that seemed to completely fluster Pepper. “You're not- he isn't-” Pepper shook her head and smoothed hair back, although none of it had actually been out of place. “Tony didn't say anything to you, did he?”

“No. I just mean, like, if there's a cute guy named Tim in Finance or something...”

Pepper actually slumped a little in relief, her shoulders dropping for just a second before returning to her proper business-y pose. “While it's not exactly encouraged, it's not against company policy. Just be discrete, and don't let it interfere with your work, or there could be disciplinary action.” That all sounded reasonable.

Darcy nodded. She stood up, stepping forward so that she didn't scoot the chair back across the thick cream carpet. Pepper stood as well. “Welcome to the team, Darcy,” she said, offering her hand with another warm smile.

They shook again, and Darcy couldn't help but be comforted a little. This was the woman who'd managed Tony before, and she seemed to have complete confidence in Darcy's abilities. That had to mean something... right?

Darcy grabbed her sets of papers and headed out of the office, picking up her badge and her card on the way. She fiddled with her new phone all the way to her door, only glancing up to make sure she wasn't going to walk into anything, and to make sure that the door she stopped at was actually hers. She was super glad she'd written her name on it, or else she probably would have made it clear to the cafeteria.

She'd set the code up that morning, and keyed in her four-digit number, unlocking the door and letting herself in. She wasn't entirely surprised to see Tony sitting on one of the white couches, eyes locked on the screen of his own phone. He didn't even look up when she walked in.

“I don't start until tomorrow, you know,” she told him, kicking her heels off and moving into the kitchen to deposit the handbook and clipboard on the counter. She took a good look at her badge for the first time. It was actually one of the better ID pictures she'd ever taken.

“I know. You looked better in what you were wearing yesterday. Less... disapproving.”

Darcy looked down at her blouse, which was apparently a very disapproving shade of green. She was about to say something about it, but the next question from the living room stopped her.

“What did she say about me?”

“Who, Pepper?” The edge of the counter next to the wall looked like the perfect place for her new phone and badge. And keys? If she got them? Apparently her badge was going to be used in place of a key for most of the building? And the list of codes on the clipboard that she needed to memorize.

He still wasn't looking at her when she emerged from the kitchen. “Yes.”

“That you're a sexual-harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.” He snorted at that, but didn't bother to deny it. “And that you're a pain in the ass.”

He did look up at that. “She said that?” He sounded a little hurt.

“Not in those words, but there was a lot of skating around the issue, and the mention that you've scared away everyone she's hired for you.” Darcy headed directly down the short hall to her room for a hopefully-less-judgmental tank top and jeans.

“Well, they weren't... suited for this kind of... Hey, what are you doing this afternoon? There's no one named Tim in Finance, by the way.”

“Maybe there's a John in Payroll, then.” Shirt and pants off, tossed in the corner. Fresh tank top and jeans pulled from the suitcase.

“Nope.” The voice sounded a lot closer than just the living room. She went to the door to look and almost hit the ceiling when she saw Tony standing not three feet into the hallway, eyes still glued to his phone. He hadn't been in line of sight to see her changing, but she hadn't expected him to be so close. “There's a guy named Tony in R&D, though.”

She put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows, and he flashed a quick grin at her. “Seriously, I would recommend _not_ dating in-house. It gets... complicated.”

Was he actually looking through the employee roster? “I wasn't thinking dating, I was thinking more a friend who happened to have compatible interests and body parts that they didn't mind rubbing together with mine occasionally.”

“The interests or the body parts?”

“Both.”

“That's even worse.” His tone indicated that he had some experience with that particular topic. He glanced up at her. “There. That's better. You look a lot less like you're going to swoop in and scold me for something.”

“Should I? Are you doing anything particularly scold-worthy right now?” He didn't answer that, just looked down and kept scrolling through his phone. “What's the deal with you two, anyway? I thought you were a Thing.”

He did fully look up at that, tucking his phone into the pocket of his own jeans. “No Thing.”

They _were_ a Thing, though, they had been, at least according to every celebrity magazine on the face of the planet. Before she could come up with more questions, though, he asked, “So?”

“So...?” She stared at him, a quizzical expression on her face.

“Plans, this afternoon. Come on, Darcy, keep up.”

Oh. “Lunch, a bit of exploring so I can do my best tomorrow just to not get lost. Then I thought I'd get out and see the city. Something tells me that _someone_ isn't going to give me much of a chance to do that after I actually start working.” The unrepentant grin on his face told her all she needed to know on that count.

And she had to call Jane. She'd spoken to Jane every day since her and Erik had gone off to Northern Europe, just to check in and see how she was doing. Except, of course, the past two days. Not that Jane would really notice, but it was hard not to feel responsible for her. And this whole thing with Thor? The man was a _god_. Well, okay, so he was actually an alien, but guys like him weren't supposed to get the look he'd given her yesterday at lunch. That wasn't okay.

“Lunch?” His eyes were pointed at her, but he didn't really seem to be looking at her as he thought. “I'll order take-out, I'll give you the tour, the food will be here by the time we're done.”

“Take-out? Isn't there, like, a chef?” The cafeteria was very nice.

“The tour. Chef'll probably be heading out by the time we're done.” He glanced pointedly down at her bare feet. “I know Thor wanders about without shoes on, but you'll probably want them.”

She looked down as well. Her pedicure needed a touch-up, the blue polish was chipped around the edge of each nail. “Yeah. I kinda want to make a phone call too.”

“Walk and talk, Lewis.”

“Darcy.” The correction was automatic. Just Lewis made her feel like a chubby guy with glasses who worked in IT.

“You let Thor call you Lady Darcy.” That sounded just a little accusatory.

“Tell ya what. When you become a six-and-a-half-foot-tall blond god with abs you can bounce a quarter off of, you can call me whatever you want, too.” She gave him a too-bright smile and turned back into her room to find her shoes. Flats this time, not heels. If there was going to be a lot of walking, she didn't want heels.

“Can you actually bounce a quarter off of them?” He'd followed her into her room this time, not that it was a surprise.

“Yes.” Oh yeah. Quarters was a hell of a lot more fun with the substitution of a shirtless Asgardian for the table.

She slipped her scuffed flats on and passed by Tony, headed back out to the kitchen. “Hey, can I make international calls on this thing?” she asked, lifting the new phone and holding it in the air around the corner where he'd be able to see it.

“Of course.”

“Great.” She pulled it back around to look at. Out of curiosity, she opened up the app that would tell her where he was. His car was in the garage, his suit was in the lab, and both his phone and his watch were listed as, 'Lewis Apartment,' with an offer for a map for any of the four options. Good to know it worked. She had a suspicion that there was a Tony-tracking method that she _wasn't_ in on, but if it got to the point where that was necessary, there was probably nothing _she_ would be able to do.

She thumbed the phone off and tucked it into her pocket. It wasn't like she could have a personal conversation with Jane in front of Tony, she'd transfer all of her contacts over and call Jane tomorrow morning. There was a flash of guilt at that decision, but she reasoned that Jane would probably welcome the ability to work uninterrupted. Right? And Jane still had her number if she was super eager to talk.

A quick check of her old phone showed that no one had called. Just for fun, she snapped a quick selfie in the kitchen, just as Tony appeared beside her.

“That's no good,” he told her, a bit disapproving.

“It's... not?” There was no no-selfie rule in the rather large contract, she'd have remembered something like that.

“No.” His hand closed over her elbow and turned her enough to pull her back until her shoulder bumped against his chest. His hand shifted from her elbow to her waist, holding her there. “There. Now take it.”

She lifted the phone up until they were both reflected looking up into it and took another picture. Darcy liked taking pictures from that angle, it gave her fantastic cleavage. A few quick taps and swipes and the picture was uploaded to Twitter with the caption, _my new boss_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to play Quarters with Thor...  
> Since Darcy asked, none of the previous assistants were given as much trust as she is. But she didn't spill the beans on Thor, and she's done both the science thing and the superhero thing, so it's sort of an, all of the eggs in one basket deal.


	4. Chapter 4

Twitter exploded when Tony retweeted the picture, prompting an emergency meeting with the PR department after Darcy finished the Thai food Tony had ordered in. So there went the afternoon of exploring the city. But she quickly settled into her new job, with minimal issues.

It didn't take long to learn that Tony was a lot more apt to listen depending on what she wore. Tank top and jeans, and he didn't really give her a hard time. More business-y clothes and he'd talk her around in circles every time she went in to see him until she just wanted to strangle him. And strangling was a direct no-no, it was in the contract and everything. He liked her heels, though. To be fair, so did she. Tony wasn't the tallest Avenger in the tower, but he was still a good few inches taller than she was, and it was easier to talk to him when they were more eye-to-eye.

She met all of the other Avengers. The guy who'd been having lunch with Steve her first day there was apparently Sam Wilson, and one of Tony's ongoing projects was to upgrade his wings. And yes. Yes was the answer to her question about if everyone who worked there was hot and muscly. Even Natasha, although there was something almost scary about her.

Thor basically became her new bestie. Most of her downtime- what little of it there was- was spent just hanging out with him. She'd spoken to Jane, it had actually been a pretty awkward conversation.

_“Hey, Jane. What's up?”_

_And Jane, distracted as ever. “We're doing really good here, Erik's developing a new theory. How about you?”_

_“I'm working in New York now. For Tony Stark.”_

_“That's good. I talked to a Pepper Potts a little while ago about you, gave you my official recommendation.” But had utterly failed to mention it, of course._

_“Yeah. Hey, Thor's living here.”_

_“Is he.” Guilt combined with a bit of disinterest? Ouch._

So she hadn't told him about that call. Which was probably just as well. He, apparently, spent the better part of his days trying to beat the shit out of Captain America- Steve- and sometimes Tony, which they all seemed to really enjoy. There was a bit of first aid involved in her job, too. It was _really_ easy to get past the whole staring-and-drooling thing when she had to apply arnica and dole out ice packs.

JARVIS turned from slightly-creepy voice that was always listening to an invaluable resource. No one else seemed to have any problems finding their way around, but Darcy would have been helplessly lost many times over without the patient AI and a map on her tablet.

Happy, as it turned out, was in charge of security. He'd been Tony's driver, but now he was the guy Darcy had to talk to when Tony went out In Public. He had a _lot_ of stories that Tony didn't seem to want her to hear.

She did a lot more administrative work than she had for Jane. Tony actually talked to people, did interviews... Most of them wanted to know more about the personal life of the genius billionaire than actually talk about Science! things, but Tony didn't really seem to care, although there were a few issues that were skirted around with a clever comment and a change of subject- Pepper chief among them.

And Darcy found herself a newfound news item as well, if by news you meant rumors in the gossip column and trashy magazines. Tony had, like, no concept of personal space. He was a toucher. He constantly had his arm around her whenever they were In Public together, prompting a lot of speculation about exactly what the nature of her job was.

At first she'd been really kinda offended by it, but Pepper had taken her out for a drink and basically laid it all out for her, including the best way to handle it, and she learned to really just brush it off. Mostly. The unlimited supply of beer in the cafeteria helped.

She did a lot of pacing and worrying, too, when the Avengers were called on to suit up and go forth and save all of it. That was the hardest part.

But it was good. She was glad that she'd looked up one day and seen Tony pulling up outside the lab in New Mexico.

She was walking quickly to her room one day, glancing down at her phone every so often. Technically her work day was over, but she was on salary and her job really never ended. This wasn't just an occupation, this was a lifestyle. Tony had a habit of coming up with last-minute things to text her that would go well beyond the last minute- requests and project notes he needed, things like that.

Thor was coming down the hall the other way, shirtless, moving his shoulder around like it hurt. Shirtless Thor was a Thing, especially after his training, kick-the-shit-out-of-each-other sessions. And nothing could quite pick up the end of the day like... All of that.

He angled himself so that he was walking towards her, and she slowed to a stop as they met in the hall. “Who was it today?” Darcy asked, trying to peer around him at his shoulder. No good, she couldn't really see anything. Too tall, and too broad.

“Sam and Steve. It was a glorious combat.” Which likely meant that they were a little worse for wear, too. Oh well, there was a whole medical floor if they really needed anything, Darcy was not the only source of ice packs. Although they did take up half her freezer.

“Did you see Medical about that shoulder?” She moved around to try and get a look, but he turned so that he could continue to face her. Well, he was too tall for her to get a good look at it anyway.

“No.” There was an expectant look on his face.

She sighed. “Because that's what I'm for. Come on.” She continued on to her apartment, and he quickly fell in step beside her despite her quick steps. His stride was a lot longer than hers.

She keyed her code into the number pad, her other hand on the door handle, and opened the door just as soon as she heard the lock unlatch. It was one of those things she'd gotten used to, even if she still wasn't able to find her way to her room without either counting doors or looking for her name. Looking for her name was easier, of course, it meant she could compulsively check her phone.

Which she did as she walked in the kitchen to set all of her stuff down. Car in the garage, suit in the lab, watch and phone in the elevator. They'd been in the lab the last time she'd checked, but he hadn't sent her a text, so it looked like she was in the clear. For a while, anyway.

Heels were kicked off by the door, and she went into the living room where Thor was perched on the stool, waiting for her.

The stool had been intended as kitchen seating. The kitchen was big enough for barstools at the counter, and it was where all of the chargers were, so she could grab a snack and sit at her laptop without having to cart the charger all over the apartment or whatever. Usually, though, the stool seemed to sit in the living room doing exactly what it was doing right now, holding up the ass of one Asgardian.

Not that she _really_ minded, despite any complaining she did about it. Shirtless Thor was still a thing of wonder and beauty. She moved up behind him and looked down at the shoulder. It looked a little swollen right above the joint, but there wasn't a lot of actual visible trauma. “What happened this time?” It took a lot to actually hurt him, so something pretty big had to have happened.

“Sam impacted with my arm as Mjolnir was returning to my hand.” It had taken a while for Sam to get Thor to stop calling him 'Son of Will.' Darcy kinda missed it.

“So things are probably pulled instead of bruised.” He had his long blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, giving her a completely unimpeded view as she looked down at the broad expanse of shoulder. “Put your arm out to the side. Is Sam okay?”

He moved his arm straight out to the side and Darcy just stood there, admiring the way the muscles moved in his back. She didn't actually have a reason for him to do it, other than to stare. But she deserved this if he was going to rely on her for basic first aid. “He needed medical attention, but he's much better now.”

Poor Sam. “You _can_ move it, though, right? Is it tight or is there, like, stabbing pain?” Nurse Darcy, educated by Dr. Google.

“It pulls tight, like the string of a bow.”

“Yeah, probably just pulled it, then, which means moving it to make it better. Go for a swim, you'll probably be fine.” She watched his muscles shift around as he returned his arm to his side. She worked long hours, but the perks of this job were _amazing_. “If you're not fine, of course, get your butt down to Medical.” Not that it was ever really necessary, the whole super-fast-healing thing.

“And you will accompany me!”

"The swim, right?” Wet Thor in a bathing suit? No question. _What was I just thinking about the job perks?_ “Sure. Just let me get changed and stuff. You wanna meet out in the foyer?”

He gave her a grin before standing and heading back out of her apartment on his bare feet, the door swinging shut behind him.

Because of course there was a pool. And because it was the Avengers Tower, it wasn't just a little backyard pool, either. No, there was an Olympic-sized swimming pool kept at a steady temperature year-round, out to one side of the building in its own room made completely of glass. Well, the ceiling and three walls were, one of the walls was thick concrete, with doors that led into the changing rooms. And there was a Hulk-sized hot tub for soaking at the far end too. It was always open, and who needed a lifeguard with JARVIS in the building?

Darcy headed into her room to change into her bathing suit. It was a one-piece. She seemed to be the only person she saw regularly who didn't have at least a six-pack, and while she knew no one else really cared, she kinda did. Low neckline, though, gotta play to your strengths. She found her flip-flops and slid them on, as well as a cover-up tied around her waist.

Passing back out to the kitchen, her glasses were left on the counter, and she grabbed her badge and her phone, reflexively checking it again. No texts, and Tony was now on 'Security Floor, hallway' or at least that's where his phone and watch were. He'd probably gone to visit Happy. Or talk about his new idea for improving security. Or both, really.

There were towels in the changing rooms, big fluffy things that almost wrapped around Darcy's body twice. Badge, phone, cover-up for the walk down and back... She was pretty much ready to go. She left her room, holding both items easily in one hand, the other swinging a little as she walked out to the big common area where Thor was already waiting. He looked almost the same, with the addition of shoes- he always wore shoes when he left the residential floor- and his hair was down.

The foyer looked just as pristine and elegant as it always did when it wasn't really in use. Darcy had long since gotten over her fear of sitting on the white couches. They seemed to be made out of some sort of magical fabric that resisted stains no matter what happened. She'd actually dropped a box of sweet'n'sour chicken on one once, face-down, but there wasn't any trace of it anywhere.

“Ready?” she asked as she came to a stop beside him, looking up into his piercing blue eyes.

“After you, Lady Darcy.” He gestured to the elevators with his uninjured arm, and Darcy started in that direction, her flip-flops shuffling across the carpet.

Thor seemed to fill up the elevator. Not that it was a bad thing, really, but he did have the habit of making small spaces smaller.

They parted to go into separate changing rooms. Darcy grabbed a towel to bring out onto the pool deck with her, and boosted her phone's volume all the way up. Not that she'd have a good chance of hearing it once they were in the water anyway, but it was the thought that counted. Or whatever.

After setting her towel and phone up on one of the pool chairs- padded with canvas, and more comfortable than pool chairs really had any right to be- she eased herself into the water and mostly floated around watching Thor swim lengths.

At last he stopped, though, and they went and settled themselves in the hot tub for a soak. Thor always just got right in and spread out, but it was _really_ hot, and Darcy had to sort of ease herself into the water, starting by sitting out on the edge and just dangling her feet in.

“I spoke with Jane,” he told her, and the serious look on his face made her heart drop. She wasn't really surprised that it had taken this long- Jane _was_ an avoider.

“How did that go?” Darcy's own conversations with Jane had turned into more of a catch-each-other-on-Facebook-once-every-week-or-two thing. They were both just so busy... Not that that was really an excuse.

“Not well.” She wasn't really surprised by that. “She is accomplishing much.”

“Yeah, well... That wasn't really a question, was it? Jane's brilliant, and very hard-working.” She wasn't defending her friend, not really. Bracing her hands on the edge of the concrete pool deck, she eased herself forward until she stepped over the long built-in bench and was standing in the middle, arms held up over her head.

Thor wasn't new to her particular way of settling in and just shifted his long legs over so there was slightly more room for her to move around.

“She is.” Fondness and pain mixed in his voice. _Dammit, Jane._ He looked like he could use a hug, so Darcy stepped carefully through the water until she was right beside him. She settled down on the bench and slowly slid her arms into the water, then eased one arm behind his back and rested her head on the upper swell of his chest. He shifted so that she could cuddle right in there, and his arm dropped from where it was draped across the edge of the pool deck to rest around her, his hand falling to her hip.

“So, is it over, then?” She couldn't not ask the question.

“I believe so. She said that she was getting much more work done without the constant threat of personal violence interrupting her.”

So, even though she'd spent the better part of a year doing everything she could to find him again, what had happened in Asgard had just been too much. Well, to be fair, it had been a lot. Like, a _lot_. “I'm sorry.” Darcy slid her other hand over Thor's front until her hands met on his other side and hugged him, squeezing as tightly as she could. “It's been over for a while, though. I mean, basically, right? It's got to be a bit of a relief to just be able to let it go.”

“It is.” There was pain in his voice, but there was relief, too. That part made her smile, just a little.

They sat together in silence for a while until Darcy pulled back a little, looking up at the side of his face. “Don't worry, when you're ready to get back on the horse, I'm sure you'll have to beat the ladies off with a stick.”

“I was informed that it is not permitted to beat Midgard women with sticks.” After just a second he turned to look down at her, and despite the hurt left over, there was a twinkle in his eye that showed he was joking.

“Smart-ass.” Rolling her eyes, she shook her head, then settled back to rest against his broad chest again. It was dark outside, the looming dark of a cloudy evening in the city.

“What need have I for hordes of women when I have a buxom enchantress in my arms?”

Darcy was glad that the water was so hot, or she'd be blushing like crazy. “Flatterer.” His other arm came around her, hand resting on her waist. Thor won at cuddling.

They sat for a while in silence, but eventually Darcy felt like she'd boiled herself enough. Thor got out first, then leaned down and easily lifted her out of her water, setting her down lightly on the splattered-wet concrete around the hot tub as if she didn't weigh a thing. He gave her an easy grin.

“Show-off,” she grumbled, but she was smiling too. “I should probably go and poke at Tony and make sure he's had dinner and everything.” Which reminded her that _she_ hadn't eaten yet. She looked up at her friend. “Do you need anything?”

“Your presence is balm enough, Lady Darcy.” He leaned down and pulled her to him in a close hug for just a moment before straightening and moving away.

She couldn't help but watch his ass as the wet material of his black trunks clung to it. “I am a bad person,” she murmured to herself. Her friend was emotionally hurting, but she just couldn't seem to look away.

As if on cue, her phone started filling the vast room with Black Sabbath's _I Am Iron Man_. Because of course Tony would call her now. He was probably still in Security with the monitor for the pool on, and had watched her get out of the hot tub. She debated flipping off the small white camera that was slowly revolving in the corner of the room, but instead walked over to where her towel and phone were waiting, her feet slapping wetly against the floor.

Her head was dry, and she wiped her fingers off on the towel before picking up the phone and swiping her thumb across the screen to accept the call. “Have a nice swim?” Tony's familiar voice asked as soon as she'd raised it to her ear.

She did flip off the camera then, and he laughed at her. “Have you eaten yet?” Poking at him was significantly easier when he called, though.

“Why no, I haven't.” Of course not. “I've ordered in Thai, though. Should be just about here. Can you pick it up for me and bring it to the lab?”

Resting her hand on her hip, she glared up at the camera. “I'm in my bathing suit. And there are interns for that.”

“I can see that. Interns get all flustered and tend to drop food in the lab.” He paused. “You should have enough time to dry off first.”

That was a good point. Apparently just the idea of being in the same space the suit was created was enough for near-hysterics. Darcy had personally seen Housekeeping cleaning meatballs and spaghetti noodles off of the wall. "Yeah. I'll be there in a bit.” She hung up without saying goodbye and glared at the camera again before heading into the changing room she'd used before. He had to go down to the lab, why couldn't he just get his food? 

She toweled off her arms and legs, trying to dry off her swimsuit as much as possible. Eventually, though, she just draped another large towel over her shoulders and stuffed her feet into her flip-flops before heading out to the elevators.

The large brown paper bag was waiting for her in the lobby when she got there. The front desk crew were used to seeing all sorts of things, and didn't bat an eye at her outfit of bathing suit, cover-up, towel and flip-flops. From the weight and feel of what was in the bag, Tony had ordered for her as well. Of course he had. He might be a pain in the ass, but at least he was considerate. Well, his version of considerate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony insisted on showing up at the end. Of course. I'm glad y'all are having fun reading this, it is a TON of fun to write!


	5. Chapter 5

Darcy was sitting on a bench and looking at her tablet while Tony and Thor were having some sort of aerial combat above her. Her earbuds were tucked in her ears, music turned up to combat the noise of hammers and repulsors and taunts- really, they were just like little boys on the playground with all of their shit-talking.

They were in the smaller training room, practicing for urban combat, or so they told her. Destroying public property was frowned on, and this way they got to simulate the tight confines of the city streets, with sturdy walls on each side instead of skyscrapers.

Darcy was going through the last-minute checklist to make sure all of the preparations were in place for the following evening. Tony was booked for an In Public thing and there was going to be some travel. The pilot had confirmed the flight time, the hotel had confirmed the suites with a list of Tony's special requirements. Housekeeping had packed for him- the man really did need a keeper. Now it was just a matter of going over the notes Tony had prepared- and would, of course, completely ignore- to make everything was in the right order and was relevant to the topic at hand. “I should get a degree just from doing this job,” she muttered.

The motion of the door to the training room opening caught her eye, and she looked up to see Pepper walking briskly in. Darcy hoped she wasn't in for her own scolding. She'd argued with Happy about the safety issue of her being in the same room while the guys were training, and she insisted that it gave them practice for having to work around civilians. They'd agreed to disagree, which really meant she got her way because Tony jumped into the conversation and insisted he needed her there. He didn't really need her there, of course, and she could do what she was doing from anywhere in the building. Anywhere outside of it, really. But she'd tried once, and he'd spent the entire time pestering her to see what she was doing, and she hadn't been able to get anything done. So it was just easier this way.

And she'd really only been hurt once. Twice if you counted banging her head on the bench when the air current from someone flying too low had knocked her over. No one really counted that, though. Well, Happy did. And probably Pepper. And now, as she walked across the length of the training room, Pepper didn't exactly look happy.

Pepper made her way over, her eyes locked on the two men fighting in the air above them. She came to a stop at the end of the bench, her eyes dropping to Darcy, prompting her to pull out her earbuds. “Darcy, can I borrow you for a second?” Pepper had to raise her voice to be able to be heard over the noise from above.

“Sure.” It had to be important if Pepper came all the way down here instead of just calling or texting her. “Hey!” she called up to the combatants above. “HEY.” They both stopped in midair, looking down at her. “I'm stepping out for a minute. Don't kill each other while I'm gone.” Thor waved and Tony nodded, and then Mjolnir was flying around the room again with blasts from the repulsor beams and... “Okay.” She stood up, tucking the earbuds into her pocket as she hugged the tablet to her chest, and followed her boss out into the _much_ quieter hallway. After the chaos in the training room, it felt so weird for it to be so quiet. “What's up?” She'd mostly gotten over feeling under-dressed around the high-powered executive. _Mostly_.

Pepper sighed, looking down at the younger woman. “This isn't the type of conversation I want to be having in the middle of a hallway...” The smile she came up with was slightly pinched. She walked over to where a nearby pair of chairs sat against the wall and sank into one, prompting Darcy to go and sit beside her. “This is highly sensitive information.” Sensitive meant classified. At Darcy's nod, the CEO took a deep breath and put her business face, clasping her hands loosely over her knee. “I was infected with a complex virus.”

Darcy blinked. She counted Pepper as one of her friends, but apparently they were sharing Super Serious secrets? Because Pepper sounded deadly serious. And this sounded like more than just a bad case of the flu. “When?”

“Last year when...” Pepper shook her head, squaring her shoulders. “It's fine. I got treatment, I made a full recovery, everything was okay.”

Except everything was _not_ okay. There was a but coming. A big but, by the sounds of it. Like, a Hulk-sized but. Otherwise Pepper wouldn't be down here. “Ooookay...”

“There have been concerns about possible...” She seemed to be searching for the right word. “Relapse.” There was the but. “I'll be taking some leave. Maria and Happy will keep everything running smoothly, and hopefully I'll be back before anyone realizes I'm gone.”

Anyone meaning Tony. And he'd notice right away. Which was why Pepper was currently sitting in the white chair, legs tucked demurely under with a very professional look on her face. Darcy got to be the lucky one who had to break the news to Tony, and keep him from... reacting badly. “Uh huh. And when...”

“Just as soon as Dr. Banner gets all of his equipment ready for travel.” She took another deep breath, lips pressing together in that way that showed she was anxious or irritated. “Today.” _Now_ , basically.

Which meant it was _super_ -super serious. “Are you okay? Is it contagious? I mean, I don't mean to be insensitive, but why are you taking off?” Darcy searched the other woman's face for any trace of illness or whatever, but Pepper had that business-face down pat. Which meant never playing poker with her, ever. Her eyes were a little tired and her mouth was a little thin, but she looked no more strained than she did after an hour-long meeting with Tony.

“I'm fine, it just...” Pepper drew in a deep breath through her nose. It seemed like she was trying to find the words without actually talking about what was wrong. Which was totally fair, because it was probably totally classified, and Darcy didn't want Pepper getting into trouble for blabbing about it. “It can be dangerous to be around me. This is just a precaution.”

Something told Darcy that this was more than just a precaution, but she couldn't exactly jump to her feet, pointing at her boss and dramatically screaming, _'You're a liar!.'_ “Okay, well... I'll, uh... Try to keep anything too illegal from happening.” That seemed like a safe promise. Tony probably wasn't going to handle this well.

The business face cracked into a slightly-relieved, slightly-worried grin. “JARVIS is under strict orders not to reveal where we're going to anyone, and he's the only one who knows. It's absolutely vital that we be left alone, it could be dangerous to interrupt Dr. Banner.” This sounded a lot less like run-of-the-mill pneumonia and more like evil alien space flu.

Darcy pulled her tablet down from her chest and looked over the schedule for the next few days, mentally wiping all of it away. “Got it. I'll taze him if I have to.” She'd accidentally left her old Taser in New Mexico, but Happy had gotten her set up with a brand new one. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. Tony would be pissed. Pepper probably wouldn't be too thrilled, either. “Who all is going to know, and what's the official story?” _Am I going to be responsible for telling everyone?_

“Maria is handling things, she's taking care of informing the Avengers. As far as everyone else is concerned, I'm simply taking a business trip.”

“Some business.” On impulse, Darcy leaned forward and hugged the other woman, who seemed startled, but then returned the embrace after just a second. “Just, you know. Get better. Soon, if at all possible.”

“I'll do my very best.” They pulled away from each other and Pepper stood, smoothing down the skirt of her knit dress. “Thank you, Darcy. I know I'm leaving everything in capable hands.”

Pepper sure had more confidence in Darcy's abilities than she did. “Hey, of course. Do you need anything?”

“Just take care of...” _Tony,_ was the unspoken ending to that statement. “We'll be in touch as soon as there's anything to be in touch about.”

“Okay.” Darcy watched Pepper walk briskly away, headed towards the elevator, then pulled her phone out. “Call Happy,” she instructed it as she lifted it to her ear. Being Tony's PA meant that she had access to a lot of things that most of the other staff and occupants of the tower didn't. Like a personal line to the head of security. She heard the noise of the number being dialed.

“Yeah?” he greeted after half a ring. He'd have known who it was before he'd answered, and had even probably been expecting her call.

“Hey. Pepper told me...” She trailed off, then decided to let the sentence just end there. “Do you think you can run some tests on the security system right after she's gone? Something that will put the building on external lockdown?” External lockdown meant that no matter what Tony did- codes, overrides, repulsor blasts, whatever- none of the doors that led outside would open until it was over.

“Already on it.” Of course he was. Happy was good at what he did.

“Great. Just buzz me right before you start, okay?” Then she could get the whole telling-Tony part of it over with. Because that was a thing that needed to happen.

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks, Happy.”

“No problem.” She was just about to hang up, when his voice pulled the phone back to her ear. “-ey, Darcy. There's a bottle of his favorite scotch at the back of the third drawer in the desk by the window in his lab.”

She mouthed the directions as she shifted the phone to her shoulder, causing the arm of her glasses to dig uncomfortably into the side of her head, and pulled up a blank memo on her tablet. She typed out the words as quickly as possible, then shifted until she was holding her phone again. “Thanks.” She turned off the phone and returned it to her pocket before checking over her memo. _Third drawer, desk by window, lab_. Good enough. Now she just had to go back in there and pretend nothing was up until Happy texted her.

_Why isn't my poker face as good as Pepper's?_ Shaking her head, she glanced down at the tablet again, and then squared her shoulders and walked back into the training room. She could do this. The two were still martial-artsing each other up above her, and she went and sat down again on the now-cold section of bench she'd occupied before. Earbuds firmly in her ear against the noise, she turned her music back on and tried to look engrossed with her tablet. The schedule. She studied the schedule a lot more closely. Traveling and coming home were really the only big events on the schedule. She'd probably have to call and have a generic, 'Sorry, we need to reschedule,' conversation. Not yet, though. That decision would need to wait until after the whole telling-Tony thing. Chances were pretty good that he'd want to cancel on them, but he'd be pissed if she made that decision without him.

Her music was interrupted by Tony's voice in her ear. Sometimes he would just take over her headset, she hated it when he did that. “What did Pepper want?” And he sounded suspicious. Like, _really_ suspicious.

She spoke at her normal volume, knowing the mic on her simple headset would transmit her words into his helmet. “Schedule. Last minute stuff before your lecture at MIT.” Which was probably going to have to be canceled. Which, really, upside to this whole thing, if she was going to find one. Darcy hated the In Public stuff. Planes and cameras and fending off fans... His Science! lectures were supposed to be limited to grad students, but there were always at least a few squealing fans that got in and... squealed. And the PR department insisted that Darcy had to wear business-y clothes, which meant Tony spent more time arguing with her than she needed- which was to say at all. It just sucked, all around.

What she'd said wasn't technically a lie, either. This was definitely a last minute thing, his schedule was going to need to be gone over, and the MIT lecture was the next big event planned. Their plane- private jet, small mercies- was set to leave the following evening.

“And she came all the way down here for that?” Yeah, he didn't believe her.

“Happy's starting some tests on the security system, her phone was offline for a bit.” Now that, that was a lie. She heard the distinctive sound of Mjolnir impacting solidly with the suit, and then the suit crashing into the wall, followed by a grunt. “Shouldn't you be paying attention? By which I mean not looking down my shirt?” She didn't even have to see him to know that's what he'd been doing. “The girls appreciate the attention, but your ribs probably don't.”

There was a breathless sort of snicker, and then her music filled her ears again and she let out a sigh of relief. That had gone fairly well, all things considered. Of course now she'd have to do the whole first-aid thing.

There was a visible dent in the side of the red-and-gold suit when the two men landed not too much later, and Darcy stared at it for a second before looking up to see Tony had retracted the face part of the helmet. “I'm going to have to find the arnica, aren't I? We should probably get some more soon.” Mentally going over the contents of the first-aid kit in the lab, she stopped her music, and took the earbuds out of her ears, tucking them away in her pocket. “How about you, Thor? Or were you able to pay enough attention not to get blasted?” Her eyes moved over the larger man, but he seemed to be in one piece. He was tougher, too, so Tony would have to _really_ hurt him to actually hurt him, but... He was her friend. It was good to ask.

“I am well.” His breathing was a little heavy from his exertion. When they sparred, they were actually really trying to beat the shit out of each other. She'd asked why at some point, and had been told that the bad guys don't pull their punches.

“That's good.” She turned back to her boss. “Come on, you. Suit's not going to fix itself, and I want to do something about your side before it gives everyone an excuse to say I'm beating you.”

“Surely not, Lady Darcy. Your touch is the sweetest in all the Nine Realms.” Thor _would_ go and make her blush. She did her very best to pretend that the heat wasn't spreading down across her cheeks and mostly failed.

Tony, of course, was smirking. “I'm suddenly _very_ excited about getting down to the lab. Thor, a pleasure as always. Of course, you wouldn't have been able to catch me if I hadn't been distracted.”

“Yes,” the larger man said seriously. “Lady Darcy also has some of the finest br-”

“Hey, now!” Darcy exclaimed, bringing her hands up to stop him from talking. “Standing right here, guys. Can we not discuss my assets right in front of me?”

Tony started to lean to the right, his eyes about halfway down her body, then abruptly straightened. “Oh, ass- _ets_. Assets. Right.” Which Thor apparently thought was hilarious as he dropped a large hand on Tony's shoulder and just busted a gut laughing.

She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “Okay. I'm going somewhere where there's not as much testosterone just floating around.” Darcy pointed directly at her boss. “ _You'd_ better come with me, or DUM-E's going to be looking at your ribs.” With another glance between them, she whirled on her heel and started for the elevator. “JARVIS, what's up with Tony's ribs?” Which was one of the handiest things about the Iron Man suit, in her opinion.

“Superficial trauma to the skin tissue over the fourth to seventh ribs on the left side.” Superficial was good. That meant not having to talk him into a trip up to Medical, which would be difficult enough even without all the other stuff that was going on.

Butterflies. She'd never really understood the origin of that term until just now, but her stomach was roiling with anxiety. What was coming was just about the last conversation that she wanted to be having ever. She took out her phone just as Tony walked up behind her, close enough that he could see her use her app to start the coffee pot in the lab before she reached out and poked the button for the elevator. The no-personal-space thing. “Is Thor staying here?”

“Shower. Probably a cold one. What?” he asked with injured innocence when she turned to glare over her shoulder at him. “It's a compliment.”

“You're _lucky_ I don't report you for sexual harassment.”

“He started it. Besides, you know you love it. It means we love you.”

The elevator doors opened, and Darcy stepped inside, turning to push the button for Tony's lab. He got on as well, standing just to her right. “It means I'm the only one with boobs around when you guys get all worked up from pounding on each other.” She paused. “And Nat would kill you.” Most of the guys behaved when they finished their training sessions, but Thor got very... flirty if she was sitting there in the room, which usually prompted blushing and images of being tossed over his shoulder and taken from the room to be... taken. Tony was just always more _Tony_ than usual. “Take your shirt off as soon as you get the suit off, that's got potential to really hurt.” She gestured to his side. The dent in the suit would be applying pressure, but once it was off... Even just a bruise that big would really hurt for a while.

His arm went around her shoulders, because of course it did. “I love it when you tell me to take my clothes off.”

Darcy sighed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: The Extremis virus was neutralized in Pepper's bloodstream, not eradicated, and they're worried it's becoming un-neutralized. And also Bruce Banner was the one who sorted her out last time.
> 
> Things start heating up in the next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Once in his lab, Tony was stripped of his suit and pulled off the athletic shirt he always wore underneath. He stood in the middle of the floor with his arm up, waiting for treatment.

Darcy stood just to his side with the jar, looking at his ribs. This waiting thing was _hard_. Opening the jar of arnica, she couldn't suppress a sigh.

“What's that all about? Does it really look that bad?” He started twisting to try and see where he'd been hit. “I'm not going up to Medical, their bedside manner is lousy.”

“Stop squirming around so I can put this on.” She scooped a bit out onto her finger and started gently dabbing it over where the purple bruise was already spreading over Tony's ribs. At least nothing was broken.

It didn't take long. He was in a cooperative mood and just stood there until she was done. “There. Leave the shirt off until it's been absorbed in a little.” She capped the jar and set it aside, taking the rag he handed her and wiping off her fingers. “Thanks.”

He nodded, twisting one last time to try and get a look at his side before straightening and looking at her, hands on his hips. “You just want the chance to ogle me for a little while longer. It's fine, I'm used to it.”

He _was_ pretty. Not as cut as Sam or Steve, but in-shape. He worked out. She let her eyes trace the line down the center of his abs. “If I wanted to do any ogling, I'd have stayed in the training room and let Thor talk about my rack. He's just so...” She pretended to fan herself.

Tony smirked and turned away, walking to where the suit was standing up in its brace, waiting for repairs. Instead of getting started, though, he just stood there looking at it.

“Everything okay?” Darcy asked after a minute or two. He couldn't know already, could he? Oh, that would be bad.

“I just wanted you to know...” He trailed off, then turned to face her again, expression completely serious. “I have a habit of taking things for granted, and I just...” Tony was moving again, apparently antsy. He walked right by her, then turned to face her from the other side. It was kind of like watching a really slow motion tennis match. “I appreciate everything you do for me. You needed to know that.”

She blinked at him for a moment in silence. That was about the last thing she'd expected him to say. “Thanks? I mean, you're welcome?” What was she supposed to say?

“I was just going to get you something, but Pepper suggested that I actually tell you...” He stared at her for a second. “Yeah. I told you.”

“Great. Um, thanks.”

He moved until he was directly in front of her. His hands came out and cupped the sides of her face, his palms hot and slightly sweaty against her skin, tilting her head back to look up at him. She felt like she was frozen in place as his face slowly lowered to hers, his mouth coming closer and closer...

God, his lips felt incredible. Soft, with the slight prickle from the whole mustache-goatee thing... Just the right amount of pressure- firm, not sloppy. It took more effort than she wanted to admit to pull back, pushed into action only when his tongue skated against her bottom lip. She pressed her lips between her teeth and looked up at him for a moment. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? “Tony...”

And then her phone buzzed. Darcy looked down at the pocket of her jeans, heart sinking.

“Just leave it. No, just leave it. Here.” He reached down into her pocket and took out her phone. “It's...” He squinted at her screen. “Happy. He says, 'External lockdown in two minutes.'” His eyes focused on her again. “Good to know, I was thinking about calling for some pizza.” With another glance to the phone, he tossed it gently on the desk behind her.

She looked up just as his hands came out, sliding into the small of her back. He stepped into her until her tank-top-covered breasts brushed against his bare chest, and she rested her hands on his upper arms in order to push back a little. “I need to tell you something.”

He looked down at her for a second. “I take it you're not going to tell me that you've decided to take a second job as a stripper and you want some input on your routine.” There was an edge to his voice, though, like he knew something was up. Yeah, she needed to work on her poker face.

“You take up too much of my time for me to get a second job, especially as a stripper.” She was stalling.

“I would make that sacrifice so that you could chase your dreams, Darcy. I'm a very generous man.”

She took a deep breath. Better just to get it over with. “Pepper had to leave.”

He stilled, eyes locked on her face. “You mean she went out for an unplanned business meeting?” He knew that's not what she meant.

“She told me about the virus she was infected with, a little. Not what it was or anything big and classified, but that it wasn't... good.” She sighed. “Apparently there are concerns.”

That was enough to get him to move away from her, hands falling away. He paced a few steps and then turned to look back at her. “Concerns?” He was staring at her, his eyes hard. “What do you mean, concerns?”

“Apparently it's all just precautionary. Bruce took her somewhere- no one knows where, so there's no point in asking.”

He raked both hands through his hair. There was a wild, desperate look on his face. “I have to-”

“You can't. We're on external lockdown.” She pointed around her side behind her to the desk. “You saw the message. And Pepper said that it was of the utmost importance that Bruce not be interrupted, or it could be very bad for them.” She watched him turn and pace a few more steps. He was jittery, like he didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. After a moment, he took out his phone, probably checking to see if Pepper was still in the building.

He pushed the phone angrily back into his pocket and stared at her for a few moments, the muscle in his jaw twitching. “You're fired.”

“Actually, I'm not. You can't fire me, Tony.” Their gaze held for what seemed like an hour, a battle of wits that ended with him finally dropping his eyes. He looked so defeated standing there without his shirt, and he didn't appear to notice when she went over to the desk by the window and fished around until she pulled out the bottle of scotch. Glasses were never in short supply, and she filled a glass, like just a no-fucking-around-trying-to-get-my-boss-drunk-sized glass.

He did notice when she pushed the full glass of scotch into his hand, though, and lifted it and drained it. “She's my best friend. She's the closest thing I have to family.”

“I know,” Darcy said quietly, taking the glass and filling it again, setting it on the desk this time instead of in his hand.

He ranged over to where the suit was standing in its brace and stared at it for another long moment, arms folded across his chest. “She made me build the suit again. I had JARVIS destroy them all when she contracted the virus, but she made me rebuild one. Just one.”

Suit number two was another one of Tony's ongoing projects, but Darcy didn't think that now was the time to be bringing that up.

“We tried. I tried. But I couldn't... So she told me to build the suit again. And I did it, even though I knew that it meant we couldn't stay together.” He rubbed at the mass of scar tissue over his chest that marked where the Arc Reactor had used to sit.

So that was the end of the Thing. “Yeah, apparently this whole alien, bad-guy, superhero thing is a bit hard to take.” And Darcy wasn't even a superhero, though her filing skills were almost legendary.

Tony shrugged, staring at the red metal, still shiny even though it was dented. “I can't blame her, it's hard to see someone you love in so much danger.”

“Hard when you can't see it, too.”

He looked up at Darcy like he was just noticing she was there, even though he'd just kissed her not too long ago, was just talking to her. He blinked at her in silence for a few seconds. “Where's your drink?”

“I don't scotch. The burning...” She shook her head. “Not my thing.”

“Rum? Vodka? Tequila?”

“I'm gonna pass for now. Tequila has magic powers. It makes my clothes disappear.”

He was checking her out, actually ogling her. Usually he didn't let her catch him doing it, even though she knew he totally did, but there it was, direct eye contact with the girls. “We could go upstairs. I have a full bar upstairs, and I make a _killer_ margarita.”

“If we go upstairs, you're going to talk me into bed.”

His eyes were intense, moving slowly back up to meet her own again. “So I _could_ talk you into bed.”

“I plead the fifth. I try to avoid incriminating myself whenever possible.” She glanced over her shoulder and made sure there was enough of a clear space on the desk behind her before hoisting herself onto it to sit.

He grinned at her, walking over and picking up the glass from the desk beside her. He took a long drink before offering it to her, setting it back down again when she shook her head. Aside from day-drinking always feeling really weird, sober-Tony was impulsive. Drinking-Tony wasn't going to be any better, and had the potential to be _so_ much worse. Darcy suspected that Pepper would go _insane_ if she came back and Tony had... Well, someone needed to stay under the legal limit. It sure as hell wasn't going to be Tony.

He paced back and forth again before turning back to her, seeming intent on staring at her. Mostly at her face. “So?”

“So...?” He hadn't asked her anything... Had he? She slid her heels off, resting them on the desk beside her rather than kicking them to the floor where someone might trip over them. Probably her when she got down.

“Your job.” He definitely hadn't mentioned anything about that. “You've been here a few months. How is it... How is it going for you?” He was intently serious about his question, standing over by the suit with his arms folded.

She looked over at him, considering what to say. No mentioning Pepper, best to stay away from specifics. “It's the best job I've had. _You_ are an ass, though.”

“An ass?” He lifted a hand and pointed at his chest, eyebrows raised in a picture of innocence. “Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

“Huh.” He put his head to the side as though he was trying to decide if she was serious. Which she was. Mostly. “A loveable one, though.”

She had to grin at his utter confidence. “Well, you haven't scared me away, anyway. And I think I've seen pretty much all of your tricks.” Except the one-night-stand thing. But that also seemed like a topic to avoid, as was the kiss they'd just shared.

“Did you ever manage to find someone to rub your compatible interests together with?”

If she'd had anything in her mouth, she would have choked. As it was, she sort of coughed a little. “No. Not that I have time, ever. You're lucky I'm on salary, my overtime pay would be _huge_. Besides, _someone_ told me that in-house interest-rubbing was a bad idea. And when do I get the chance to go out and meet anyone else?”

He drew himself up, full of mock-indignation. “Your boss sounds like a heartless slave driver.”

“Yeah, he's not so bad. Loveable in his own way. Plus, the perks are amazing. Where else would I get an unlimited expense account?”

He walked back over and picked up his scotch, taking a drink before staring at her over his glass. “Unlimited? Really?”

“Oh yeah. I am socking away every paycheck so I can buy this place out from under you.” Well, not quite. But her bank was very happy with her.

The buzz from her phone across the hard surface of the desk told her there was another text message. She debated leaving it there, but Tony was already reaching for it, so she turned and snagged it before he could. “Privacy? Ever heard of it?”

“Overrated. Who is it?” Tony asked, eyes fixed on the phone. He wouldn't be able to read it from where he was standing, but there was a bit of unfriendliness in his tone, like the interruption was completely unwelcome.

Rhodey's name ran across her screen, the message underneath read, _Is everything ok?_ “Rhodey. He wants to make sure we're fine in here.” Darcy turned the phone so that Tony could get a glimpse of it. “That's sweet.”

“I got really drunk one time and we fought. In the power suits. Broken... everything. I'll text him back so he doesn't worry.” Setting his glass down on the desk, he pulled his own phone out and started typing. “Dear Rhodey,” he read aloud as his thumbs danced across the screen with a surprising amount of dexterity. “Doing fine. Would much rather wrestle hot assistant than you. Love and kisses, Tony.” He pressed send with extra flourish.

There was no doubt in her mind that he'd actually just sent that. _Great_. Her phone buzzed again, and she glanced down at the screen. _I'm here if you need me._

Which meant two things. One, lockdown was over. Two, Happy had called in the cavalry. That was a little reassuring. Things seemed to be going okay, but if Tony got a wild hair up his ass, there was no way she'd be able to physically restrain him from leaving.

But he hadn't yet. And he seemed completely content to hang out and have a drink.

“I'm not really one for wrestling,” she told Tony, putting her phone back down beside her. She didn't think he was actually serious, but keeping him distracted was probably a good idea. “I'm all short, and there's no _way_ we're in the same weight class. You have muscles and...” Her eyes moved down over his abs again. “And you don't have another suit for me.”

His eyes widened in mock-indignation. “I thought you said you weren't going to ogle me.”

“Oh, come on. You know you're gorgeous. Besides, I wasn't ogling, I was just wondering if I could bounce quarters off _your_ abs.” He was nice to look at. She _briefly_ debated reaching over and running a finger down them, but touching seemed like going a bit too far.

He shook his head. “Nice try, Darcy. Now I get to talk about your rack. Apparently also one of the nicest in all of the Nine Realms. That's not the first time he's mentioned that, you know.”

She gave him the side-eye. “You guys talk about me?”

“Of course. The one and only Darcy Lewis, hot assistant and superhero-wrangler extraordinaire.”

She turned to fully stare at him. “I wrangle?”

“I'd say there's definite wrangle-ege. Mostly because I like the image of you riding one of those mechanical bulls. We could get one in here, you know.”

“Thanks... thanks for that.” She reached over and shoved his shoulder, not really moving him at all.

“I thought you didn't want to try wrestling. I mean, I'm in, 'cause I could show you a few things that would have you pinned in two seconds.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Somehow I don't think you're talking about the athletic sport.” She took a look over at her boss. He seemed mostly sober, more or less, despite her efforts to the contrary. Maybe now would be a good time to sort out all that business stuff. She picked her tablet up from where she'd left it on the desk when they'd first come in, pulling up the schedule. “Do you want me to cancel your lecture on Friday?”

“No.” His denial came almost immediately.

“No?”

“No.” His arms folded over his chest. “I need something else to focus on, and if you're not going to let it be me bending you over this desk and-”

“Hey.” She lifted her hand between them. There was really no mistaking where that sentence had been going. “Sexual harassment.”

His eyes moved over her again, making her feel distinctly less-dressed than she had been.

“Baby, I think we've gone past sexual harassment and right on into propositioning.”

She shook her head, making a face. “Oh, don't call me that. You're, like, almost twice my age. It's dirty.”

“Am I really?” That smug son-of-a-bitch.

“Like you didn't know.” She rolled her eyes and tried to bring the topic back around to something a little less dangerous. It was fun to banter with Tony like this- _too_ fun. “So yes on the lecture, good thing I didn't call them yet. Dinner- Rhodey is here. Would you rather have pizza with him, or did you want me to drag you guys up to the cafeteria?”

“He's _here?_ ” A thoughtful frown.

“Uh, yeah. Apparently you have a history of poor-decision-making when you get bad news, and again with me not being in your weight class.”

Tony moved fast. Like, scary-fast. She barely had time to see him coming before she was pressed back against the desk with one knee held up around his hip by his hand on the bottom of her thigh, her other foot dangling to the floor on the other side of his body as he settled between her legs. Her breasts were squished under the weight of his chest, and his hazel eyes were so close, boring into hers.

Darcy drew in a long, shaky breath- as much as she could with him on top of her. Apparently she'd stopped breathing for a second.

“You're right. We're definitely not the same weight class.” His other hand, the one that wasn't hot against the underside of her jeans, smoothed her dark hair back from her forehead.

Her eyes focused on his lips, those soft, kissable lips- darker than normal, either from the alcohol or from... She couldn't directly feel if he was aroused- at eye level, their bodies didn't match up like that- but she was willing to bet the entire contents of her bank account that he was. _She_ sure was.

Her phone buzzed against the desk, somewhere to the right of her head. Tony closed his eyes for a moment, then lifted his head enough to turn and see who it was. “Rhodey. He's checking up on you again. I think I hate him.”

“Call number from last text,” Darcy told her phone. “Put it on speaker.” It barely had time to ring before Rhodey's familiar voice was suddenly very loud beside her head. “We're fine,” she told him, turning her head to the side to get to the mic on the phone a little better. “Tony didn't give me a solid answer about dinner, so did you want to do pizza down here with him, or did you want to head up to the cafeteria and hang with the guys? I can probably persuade Steve to have an old Star Wars night.” Steve loved Star Wars because of his deep, abiding love of pop-culture. Tony loved Star Wars because he'd sit and try and figure out how to get all of the shit from the movies made in real life and yell at everything that was improbable.

“That's probably the better idea,” came the voice from the phone.

“Don't I get a say?” Tony's question came out a bit indignant.

Darcy looked back up at him. He hadn't really moved, it was a little surreal to be having a conversation like this with him _right there_. “I already asked you! Fine. What do you want to do?”

He shifted, rolling his hips up- definitely aroused, then. Good to know. Darcy bit her lip and unsuccessfully tried to stifle her gasp as the hard length of his cock pressed against her, rubbing directly up over her clit. Even through her jeans and his cargo pants, the contact was enough to make her knees weak. “Focus on... work.”

The sound of the door unlocking was almost deafening in the tense silence. Rhodey knew the code to the lab, and was apparently on his way in. Tony rolled his hips into her again, drawing another gasp, and then dropped her leg, bracing both hands on the desk beside her head to straighten himself up.

The door opened before he quite got there, though, and the silence went from tense to awkward in less than a second. No one said a word.

As soon as Tony's head was out of collision-range, Darcy sat up and grabbed her phone. Rhodey had already hung up, so she didn't need to end the call. “I'll call for pizza. I'll get Steve to put on Star Wars in case you change your mind.” Silence. She could feel the weight of two pairs of eyes as she gathered up her tablet and reached over to grab her heels before walking out in as dignified a way as she could, her pulse hammering in her ears and between her legs.

Rhodey held the door open for her. “Thanks.” She did not meet his eye as she walked on past.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the third rewrite of this chapter, Tony doesn't like to cooperate unless he's getting his way. I know some of you were hoping for Thor, and all I can say is... It's not over yet!!


	7. Chapter 7

She ordered the pizza from the elevator and advised the front desk that it was on its way. They assured her they'd get it to the lab.

It wasn't hard to convince Steve to start a Star Wars marathon. All Darcy had to say was, “Hey, wanna have a Star Wars marathon? The original ones, 'cause I know you guys think the new ones suck.”

Movie nights always seemed to draw everyone out, although they were a couple of bodies short that evening. Bruce had gone with Pepper, of course, and Tony and his dangerous hips were down in the lab with Rhodey. She both did and didn't hope that they would come upstairs.

So they were all gathered in the living room. Nat sat with Sam, because she seemed to have some kind of tension with both Steve and Clint- _no judgment, Nat_. Clint and Steve sat together, usually that's where Bruce sat too, and since Thor took up more than one standard-sized seat, he sat on the third couch with Darcy beside him. And Tony crowded in on her other side when he joined them. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, but the whole no personal space thing.

It was almost like being in their own private theater. The sound system was fantastic- thanks, Tony. More comfortable, and with better food that didn't cost half your paycheck.

Thor handed Darcy an already-open bottle of beer as he lowered himself onto the couch beside her, draping his arm across the back of the couch. She took it, mentally setting her limit at one, and compulsively checked her phone again. Everything was in the lab except the car. Although that wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibilities, either.

Darcy tucked her feet up on the seat in front of her and leaned against Thor's side. It was inevitable, stupid gravity, so why fight it?

The lights dimmed and the room filled with the unmistakable opening theme with rows of text climbing the screen.

“You seem troubled, Lady Darcy,” Thor said under the cover of the noise from the TV.

“Yeah.” Some internal debate about whether or not to tell him what had just happened.

“How is Tony?” he asked before she had to make a decision.

“Maria told you?” She felt him shift as he nodded. “He's... dealing. Better than everyone thought he would, I think. Rhodey's down there with him, they might come up in a bit, but probably not. Have you heard anything about Pepper?” She figured that chances were pretty slim that they would have heard something and she wouldn't have, but it didn't hurt to ask.

“No. We will have word soon.” He was always so sure of everything, and Darcy envied that.

She watched Darth Vader walk onscreen and tell Leia she was part of the Rebel Alliance and a spy, and she just couldn't sit still any longer. “I'm gonna get up, go grab a snack or something.” She scooted forward and rested her untouched beer on the floor, out of range for Thor to knock it over if he shifted around. She felt like everyone was staring at her as she moved off in the direction of the cafeteria, but no one said anything.

She checked her phone again. Then, “Call Happy.” Her phone dialed and she held it to her ear as she walked, more meandering than actually trying to get anywhere. She'd switched the heels out for flats when she'd first come up from the lab, the old comfortable ones that were scuffed along the toes. It wasn't like she was trying to impress anyone.

“Hey, Darcy,” he greeted. He sounded like he'd had a long-ass day. He probably had.

“Hey. We're still flying out tomorrow night, apparently.”

“Really?” Dubious surprise.

“Right? But you know how Tony's all intense about everything, so I guess he's decided he's going to be intense about-” _me,_ “- work.”

“Well, I have to say that's better than putting on his suit and destroying everything.” It was said in an off-hand manner, but completely serious, too, like that's what had actually happened. “I'm glad I didn't cancel with the security team.”

“Yeah.” The security team that went with them when they went In Public was mostly there to remove the screaming fangirls and making sure the lecture or whatever wouldn't be crashed by non-Science! people. “I should ask Rhodey if he's coming.” They hadn't planned on it, but it wouldn't be unusual for him to come. Plus, then she wouldn't be alone in the back of the jet with Tony and his kissable lips.

Happy made some sort of non-committal noise, reminding Darcy he probably had better things to do than listen to her think out loud while her mind wandered. “Okay. Thanks, Happy.”

“Later.”

She hung up the phone and checked it again. _Still in the lab._

The chef was gone when she reached the cafeteria. He was there for the two hours surrounding each mealtime, but the cafeteria was well-stocked with snacks for when he wasn't. Darcy didn't keep a whole lot in her own fridge, she was rarely there and cooking was more of a chore than something she enjoyed.

Instead of getting anything to eat, though, she found herself in front of the wide, ballistics-glass windows, looking out into the night. The darkness was that thick, layered darkness that meant clouds, but it appeared to have stopped raining. Darcy shivered. November in Manhattan was pretty chilly. The central air system in the building was, like, the best ever, of course, but it still got a bit chilly next to the windows. Or maybe it was just everything that had gone on that day.

Thor's hazy reflection was suddenly there behind hers in the window and she jumped when she saw him. _How is someone so large, so quiet?_ He appeared to be watching her, and a large hand lowered onto her shoulder.

“You are cold,” he observed, a bit of worry in his voice.

“A bit. I'll probably grab a hoodie in a minute.”

He stepped closer until her back was pressed against the front of his torso, and his arms came around her, hands resting easily on her stomach. This was... new. Casual cuddling was a Thing, but this seemed more than casual.

Of course, maybe that was a result of everything that had happened that day, too.

He was warm, the skin of his arms left exposed by his t-shirt almost hot over hers. “You are troubled,” he said again, and she could actually feel the rumble of his voice against her back.

“Yeah.” She paused, staring down at his large hand. “I'm pretty sure I just got to third base with my boss.” She was glad that she was facing away from him, it would have been impossible to meet his eyes, too.

“Third base?” Slang wasn't his strong suit.

“I almost fucked Tony.” There it was, out in the open.

She felt him shrug. “There is no shame in seeking comfort in the body of one who is close to you.” He seemed neither bothered nor surprised by her words. “Nor is there shame in providing such comfort.”

He made it sound so uncomplicated. “It's not really that easy, though.”

He didn't answer that, just stood there with his arms around her. Eventually, though, he said, “Come. I have something for you.” His arms fell away, a hand instead catching her own, her fingers disappearing in his grip. He led her away from the window, back down the hall. Instead of continuing out to where Han was telling Luke not to get cocky, though, he stopped at what Darcy assumed was his apartment. She still didn't know how they all did that, maybe they were all just counting doors every time?

After keying in his code, he opened the door and led her inside. She'd been in his apartment before, all furs and large furniture with a strong leather motif. There was even an actual honest-to-goodness fireplace in the living room, almost large enough for Darcy to stand in.

Mjolnir was sitting on the floor beside the door, and he stooped to grab it with his free hand before admitting them back out of the apartment.

“That still seems like such a tripping hazard,” she commented. She'd actually tripped over it once or twice herself. And actually hurt herself, 'cause the damn thing wouldn't fall over after she'd tripped on it.

He just grinned at her, keeping her hand in his as he walked her to her own door. Her name was still as bold as it had been the day she'd written on it. “You will want one of your hooded shirts.”

“Ooookay.” She put in her code and stepped inside, running to her room to grab a hoodie and slip it on. He was waiting for her, one hand on the door to keep it open, and as soon as she was back in the hall he took her hand again.

There was a glass door next to the wall that led out onto a small, sheltered balcony. It had been nice to eat out there before it had gotten so cold. That's where Thor seemed to be leading her, though, and sure enough he dropped her hand to pull the door open.

Darcy eyed the darkened balcony. There were lights out there, but they weren't on. The sudden blast of outside air, though... Goosebumps all up and down her arms. “I'll be cold.” The hoodie helped, but it was straight-up coat weather out there.

“I'll keep you warm.” Something in his voice was making her blush again, and she walked by him, out onto the balcony.

He led her around the side to where there was a wall instead of just the window into the cafeteria, and gently turned her to face out into the night. The view was pretty awesome, and his arm coming around her to hold her against his body again was pretty warm. Temperature never seemed to bother him, lucky Asgardian.

He held the other arm above him, and she watched the clouds roiling together, boiling and seething until there was a deep rumble of thunder.

“Maria's not going to be happy,” she said, but she really didn't care. She'd always loved the rain; one of the things she missed the most about living in New Mexico was the intense desert storms. But Thor was making her a storm of her very own.

“It is worth it to ease your troubles,” he murmured from right behind her. She heard the thud of Mjolnir hitting the thick balcony floor, and then his other arm was around her as well, his chin resting gently on top of her head.

A streak of blue-white lightning arced across the sky, and Darcy had to smile. She found herself fully relaxing, resting back in the embrace of the man behind her. Her hands drifted up to rest over his, and she watched the storm break. “Thank you for this.”

She felt him lower his head until his mouth was just beside her ear. “You are welcome, Lady Darcy.”

The rain started falling, drumming heavily against the roof of the balcony. They were safe from it for the most part, though occasionally a random droplet would splatter against Darcy's hand.

She didn't know how long they stayed like that just watching the storm, but then she felt him moving. He was nudging her mass of hair aside with his nose, and then she felt what could only be his lips brushing over the skin at the side of her neck, just under her ear.

She became aware of something hard pressing into her lower back, and remembered how excited storms had always made him. Those times were always marked by him picking up Jane and slinging her over his shoulder to disappear into their room. Now, though...

“What are you doing?” Her voice was just a touch breathy.

“Offering comfort.” One of his large hands moved down to the hem of her hoodie, fingers catching underneath before sliding lightly up over the front of her jeans. The sensation of the pads of his fingers skimming up along her bare stomach made her shiver.

“Cold?” he murmured in her ear, and she could only shake her head. She reached up behind his head, resting her hand across the back of his neck. Her fingers tangled in his hair, holding him in place.

His mouth moved over her neck again, lips catching against her skin. The callouses on his hand rasped over the satiny fabric of her bra as he caressed up the outside of her breast, then over and down to cup its weight in his hand. “A mighty handful,” he murmured, lips moving against the outside of her ear.

“I'm pretty sure that's the best thing anyone's ever said about my boobs,” she told him, and his thumb brushed across her fabric-covered nipple in response.

His fingers danced across her bra until he came to the edge and then deftly slid inside until he was rolling her nipple between the middle joints of his first two fingers. Her breath caught and she let it out slowly, arching her back a little to push her breast into his hand.

She was so focused on the tiny jolts his fingers were sending from her sensitive skin to where _need_ was gathering between her legs that she didn't notice he'd undone her jeans until his other hand was pushing down over her belly and into her high-cut panties. One blunt fingertip pushed down until it suddenly pressed over her clit, making her moan as she gripped at his hair. His digit slipped a bit as it rubbed across the tight bead of nerves, her flesh already slick with arousal.

“Oh, god,” she moaned as he circled her clit, and she felt his chest shake against her back, his laughter lost in an almost-deafening rumble of thunder that vibrated the floor beneath their feet.

She rocked against his touch, eyes tightly shut, her other hand gripping at where his wrist disappeared into the waist of her jeans.

“Take comfort, lovely Darcy.” His voice was a deep purr that made her let out a breathy moan. Her world narrowed down to the pleasure he was bringing, building and building until he nipped her ear, the edge of his teeth making it shatter.

He continued to stroke her through her orgasm until it became too much, and she pulled on his hand instead of simply grabbing on. He let her remove him from her pants, and slipped free from her bra, though his hands lingered under her shirts on her bare stomach.

When she thought she could work her fingers again, she did up the front of her jeans, then let her hands rest over his again. She was aware of him, still thick and hard against her back. “What about you?”

“I have no need of comfort this night. Perhaps another night you'll attend me.” That sounded... Really hot, actually. _Attending_ him.

“Yeah. Let's do that.”

The storm was moving off, time lengthening between the flashes of lightning and the distant thunder. Darcy's hands were starting to get cold despite the Asgardian-sized space heater cuddling around her, and very reluctantly she said, “We should probably get back inside.”

Thor slipped back, and she turned to watch him stoop to pick up Mjolnir from the balcony floor. She went to push open the door, but he got there first, holding the door and ushering her inside before stepping in behind her.

Her glasses fogged up, because of course they did, and she wrenched them from her face to swipe at them with the sleeve of her hoodie.

“Shall we rejoin the others?” Thor offered as he let the door close behind him, Mjolnir held easily in one hand.

“Yeah, just give me a minute, okay?”

One finger came out to tip up her chin, and then his lips brushed gently across hers. So apparently they'd gone from besties to friends with benefits. Without any further words, he turned and walked away, hammer swinging a little in his hand. She slipped her glasses back on to watch him walk away. _Damn, that ass._ She sure didn't feel bad about looking now.

Something else caused a flash of guilt, though, and Darcy took her phone out of her pocket. It had to have been a while since she'd checked on Tony. Watch, suit, and phone were still in the lab. “JARVIS, what's Tony doing?”

“Running diagnostics on the Iron Man suit.”

He really was working. “Is Rhodey still down there?”

“Yes, ma'am.” She and JARVIS had come to an understanding. He called her Darcy instead of Ms. Lewis, and she let him refer to her as ma'am. Of course, that meant that he mostly just called her ma'am.

She pulled out the nearest chair, going into her texts and using the last one to call Rhodey. She sat down, holding the phone to her ear as it rang.

“Hello?” There was laughter in his voice when he answered, apparently they were having a good time down there. That was good.

“Hey. It's... Darcy. How is he?”

“Doing okay.”

From the background, she heard Tony call, “Is that Darcy? Tell her to come down and check on me herself.” Rhodey pointedly did not tell her that.

“Yeah. Hey, you know we have that thing at MIT in a couple days? We're leaving tomorrow night. Were you thinking of coming?”

“Do you want me to?”

Darcy wasn't quite sure how to answer that. On the one hand, time alone with Tony promised to be pretty... exciting. On the other hand, what if they got bad news or something like that? Also, she'd probably get in some trouble if he missed his lecture because they were too busy having sex. “I dunno. He seems to be doing okay with this whole thing, but what if... He's not? Or Pepper calls, and it's not...” She traced her finger over a scratch in the top of the table. The only scratch, probably on any of the tables. It would probably be gone by the next time she sat there, buffed out by the maintenance crew.

“Right. When does the flight leave?”

“Seven.” She didn't even have to check the schedule for that- good thing, because her tablet was safely in her room.

“I'll be there.”

“Great. I'll book another suite for you.” She could hear him start to argue. “Rhodey, stop. This is what I do. Don't worry, Tony will pay for it.”

His laughter was warm through the phone connection. And then, “No, Tony-” and his voice sounded farther away from his phone than it had been.

Darcy had to hold the phone away from her ear as it sounded like it was being thumped around and fired from a missile silo or something, but the familiar sound of Tony's voice made her pull it back to the side of her head.

“Did you just invite Rhodey?” He sounded irritated.

“Of course I did. Moral support.”

“Don't think him being there will stop me from... continuing the conversation we were having earlier.”

Darcy's belly flipped over. She didn't get a chance to reply, though, before the phone was assaulted again. “Give me that!” she heard, and then Rhodey's voice in her ear again. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

She hung up the phone before Tony attacked his friend for it again, then looked through her call history for the hotel. It was really simple to call them and book another suite for Rhodey, made easier for having the credit card for the expense account memorized. She was feeling better, though, as she walked back down the gently curving hallway to where Porkins was talking about staying on target.

Thor was sitting on the couch again, and when he saw her come into the foyer, he lifted his arms in invitation. She couldn't stop herself from smiling as she went over and let him pull her down onto the couch next to him, settling her into his side with his arms around her, her head resting on his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor is both easier and harder to write than Tony. Harder because of his speech patterns, but easier because he's not such a control freak.


	8. Chapter 8

Tony drove to the airport, of course, top up in deference to it being November. Rhodey was waiting for them in the private hanger in his Air Force uniform. Darcy got it, she was all dressed up and photo-ready herself in a neat red blazer and black pencil skirt.

“I'm pissed at you,” Tony said as he got out of the car. There was no doubt he who he was talking to.

“Pissed at me?” Rhodey protested. “Why?”

“Cock-blocking. You're cock-blocking me. Friends don't cock-block friends.”

Darcy rolled her eyes, putting herself between the two of them. She looked at Tony, hands on her hips. “No one is cock-blocking anyone. I've seen too many forensics shows to even think about having sex in a hotel room.” She shuddered. Ew.

“Well...” He appeared to think for a minute. “There's always the Mile-High Club.”

“The flight is an hour long. With the time we're going to have to spend all buckled up for take-off, landing, and in-flight messages that leaves, what... Half an hour?” Her eyes moved over him. “Really, Tony? Half an hour?”

The strangled sounds from behind her indicated that Rhodey was trying his best not to laugh out loud.

Tony really had nothing to say to that, just looked at her in a way that promised dangerous retribution.

The 'freak storm' that Maria had most likely had to field calls about had 'mysteriously' moved on during the night, and take-off was smooth. Tony _mostly_ behaved himself on the flight out to Boston. Mostly. Which meant that everything he said to Darcy was a double entendre, but he kept his hands to himself.

Landing was another story. There was a car waiting for them, but of course there was also a throng of media. One of the pitfalls of going anywhere with one of the Avengers. Tony kept his arm around Darcy's waist, his hand splayed possessively across her hip, and answered one of the inevitable questions about the nature of their relationship by turning and whispering something in her ear, which from most angles looked like a kiss. The media exploded, and he just smirked. So that happened.

But, after hanging out in Tony's suite for a while, Darcy went to her own rooms and had an uninterrupted night. It was both a relief and a disappointment that she was completely alone when her eyes finally drifted shut.

The lecture went as well as could be expected. Tony was even more invasive of her personal space than normal, completely ignored the notes he had, bickered with Rhodey about the functionality of the different suits he'd made right up there on stage, and at one point looked over to tell Darcy- in the microphone in front of a full auditorium, of course- that he liked how her legs looked in that skirt. So not too bad.

And then all hell broke loose.

There was some sort of Avengers-requiring incident in New York, glimpses of Thor and Steve standing in a rubble-y street were splashed across every visible screen.

They were hustled onto the plane. The trip home was tense and mostly silent, with Tony suiting up as soon as the plane landed and flying off to help.

Rhodey had to leave immediately too, to go liase or direct the Air Force or whatever confidential things he was doing. Happy was waiting for Darcy with a car, and he drove her back to the Avengers Tower.

She took the elevator up to the floor they all lived on and put on the big TV in the foyer, turning it to the news. She took her heels off and left them on one of the couches as she paced restlessly through the room. She couldn't look, and she couldn't not look. This was the worst.

But after forever it all seemed to be over. People were cheering, there weren't any reports of any of her friends being hurt.

JARVIS' unexpected voice made her yelp. “Mr. Stark requests that you meet him in the lab.”

She immediately was in motion, almost running to the elevator and hammering on the button to bring it up. “How is... Is everyone...”

“All alive, ma'am.”

She almost sagged in her relief. The elevator arrived then, and she stepped inside, letting it whisk her down to the lab.

Darcy got there before her boss, and realized that she'd forgotten her shoes when her bare feet connected with the cold concrete floor. It was too late, though, she was just going to have to deal.

It wasn't long before Tony came in, walking over to the mechanical arms that stripped him of his suit, not taking his eyes off of her. He was a little dusty, armor scored in a few places, but he looked like he was in one piece.

“Is everyone okay?” she asked, voice anxious as she watched him.

He nodded. The second his armor was all off, set up in its brace for repair and cleaning, he was on his way over, stalking across the floor to where she was standing.

“I was so wor-”

His hand slid into her hair, holding the back of her head steady as his mouth came down hard against hers, cutting her off. He took advantage of her open mouth, claiming it with his tongue. She was kissing him back just as frantically, all of the anxiety of the last little while expending itself in the way her tongue twined with his, in the way her hands moved over his body, first clutching his shirt and then sliding under it to lift it up, over his head.

They parted just long enough for her to impatiently yank off his shirt, and then their lips crashed together, tongues seeking, teeth catching.

His other hand came up to her lower back, pressing her hips into his. He started walking, moving her backwards- she didn't know where and she didn't care. She couldn't stop touching, exploring the lines of his shoulders and upper arms, feeling the muscles still taut from adrenaline that had yet to burn away.

Her ass abruptly bumped into the what could only be the edge of a desk and he pushed her back against it, hand coming to rest on her hip, knee insinuating itself between her legs. He held her there against his body, lips hungrily devouring hers until she grew light-headed and had to break away to take a deep, ragged breath. Her glasses needed to come off. She practically ripped them off and set them down somewhere on the desk.

Tony's hand moved up over her waist, around to close over her breast, fingers digging in a little. “I hate these clothes, I've got no access here.”

She grinned. “I thought it was because you have a problem with authority.”

“Right now I have a problem with this shirt. I need to see your breasts, Darcy. Help me out.”

Reluctantly taking her hands from where they'd come to rest on his chest, she reached behind her neck and undid the button there, then dropped her hands to pull the hem out of the high waist of her skirt.

As soon as her midriff was exposed, before she'd even managed to pull the shirt up to her shoulders, he reached around behind her, and in one quick movement her bra was undone, the sides falling away. As she lifted the unwanted shirt over her head, he pushed her bra up onto her chest, out of the way. His hands cupped her breasts from beneath, lifting them slightly. “These. These are why I went out to save the world today. They should give you a medal.” His eyes moved from one to the other. “Two medals.”

Before she could come up with anything to say, he bent over and took one into his mouth, lips fastening around the sensitive peak. Her mind went completely blank, and she dropped her head back, eyes closing. The shirt fell to the floor, completely forgotten.

Lips, tongue, the gentle scrape of teeth... And then he shifted to the other tight nipple, as though it had been neglected.

One hand left her breast, the finger trailing lower and then skimming along her stomach, just on the inside of her skirt. He lifted his head. “This skirt... You're going to kill me.” There was an impatient strain in his voice.

With the absence of his devilish mouth, her brain was able to form thoughts again. She grinned as she raised her head, hands sliding behind her to undo the zipper. “What kind of engineering genius doesn't know how to get into simple clothing?” Zipper lowered, she shimmied the offending garment down her hips until it fell to pool at the floor around her feet.

“If you'd seen my graduating class, you wouldn't need to ask. But maybe...” His finger ran lightly down to trace the edge of her navel before running over her hip and down the back of her thigh. “Maybe I just like watching you do it.” He gripped her leg, bringing her thigh up around his hip, and then with a hand in the small of her back eased her backwards until she was resting against the desk.

His lips came down on hers again, slower, less frantic this time. The hand on her thigh shifted around to the front and slid down, down, until his thumb brushed down over the satiny fabric between her legs, just along her labia.

Her hips pushed up against him as she sought more contact, and he did it again- a long, smooth caress.

The shrill sound of an old-fashioned phone ringing stilled his hand. Tony lifted his head. He took in a deep breath, shaking his head a little. “Just ignore it. It's fine.” He sucked her lower lip into his mouth, his thumb now moving to the edge of her panties at the crease where her leg met her body.

The sound stopped, and then immediately started again. They both ignored it, but when the caller tried a third time, Tony sighed and pulled back enough to look down at Darcy. “I'm going to have to take this.”

He shifted until he got his phone out, activated it, and held it up to his ear. “Steve. I'm in a meeting with my assistant right now. If you call me again, I will record the amazing sounds she's making and set it as your ringtone for when Natasha calls you.” There was a short pause. “Uh huh. Bye now.” He tossed the phone carelessly onto the desk.

Darcy bit her lip to keep in her giggles. Curiosity, though. “What did he want?”

“To debrief. He can wait, I'm already debriefing you.”

“I'm still wearing mine, though.”

His thumb edged under the satiny fabric against her skin, followed by a finger that moved unerringly between her puffy lips to tease at her clit for just a second before sliding down and slipping deep inside her. “Not for long.”

Her eyes locked on his as he pushed his finger slowly in up to the knuckle. They closed when he withdrew and returned with a second one, fingers crooked up until he found-

“ _Tony_!”

“ _That's_ what I'm setting as Steve's ringtone. Although... I might just keep that one for me.” He rubbed his fingers over and over that spot until she was clutching at his arm, her hair, the edge of the desk, mewling in pleasure. His thumb swept over her clit once, then again, and then she was coming, eyes screwed shut, mouth open in a silent scream.

Tony waited until she stopped clenching around his fingers to withdraw them, shifting her hips up to push her panties down to join her skirt on the floor. She cracked her eyes open to watch as his own pants and boxer-briefs quickly followed. A condom was pulled out of the nearest drawer and quickly put on, and then he was standing between her legs. One hand under her ass lifted her hips to just the right angle, the other lined his cock up with her entrance, pausing for just a moment before driving deep into her slick pussy.

She needed no encouragement to wrap her legs around his hips, flexing her ass up to meet every stroke as he thrust into her.

One hand gripped her hip, the other one fell to cover one bouncing breast, kneading, gently pinching her nipple.

She was moaning, gasping, calling his name. The addition of his thumb flicking over the bundle of nerves just above where they were joined together had her seeing stars, falling apart with a long, continuous moan.

Darcy felt her legs eased down until her toes brushed the floor, and the loss of his hard cock from within her had her opening her eyes, ready to protest. She found herself quickly flipped over onto her front, though, and before she was really able to reorient herself, he was pushing into her again from this new angle, his fingers gripping her hips.

He had more leverage like this, it seemed, and the room echoed with the rhythmic slap of his hips meeting her ass.

She gripped the edge of the desk, pushing back to meet him as much as she could. His tight hold on her hips kept her from sliding away. He was insatiable, not stopping, not even slowing down. “Can you come again?” he asked, drawing out another moan from her. He shifted her back a little, enough to slip a hand around underneath her, once again finding her clit. “Come for me, Darcy.” His finger slipped back and forth until she felt the walls of her pussy fluttering around him. His movements grew jerky and then he stiffened, holding himself balls-deep inside her.

She felt him lean his forehead against her back, both of them gasping for breath. His lips trailed down along her spine, making her hum a noise of approval. After a little bit, though, he straightened, moving away from her. “I would much rather stay down here and do this for the rest of the day, but I should probably get upstairs.”

After a few seconds, Darcy stretched and stood up, finding her glasses on the desk. Her knees were definitely wobbly, and she turned around and leaned against the desk, realizing that her bra was still dangling uselessly from her shoulders. Tony already had his pants back on. “Do me up before you go?”

He smirked at her. “Sure. Turn around.”

Turning around, she got her boobs adjusted into the cups properly, and his fingers brushed over her skin as he fastened the clasps for her.

His hands on her hips spun her back to face him again, then slid down to fully cup her ass, pulling her against him again. “I know your boss is a heartless bastard who doesn't give you a chance to get out and meet anyone, but I have it on good authority that there's a guy in R&D named Tony who would be more than happy to rub anything you want together.”

She was smiling, her hands coming up to rest on his chest. “I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, by the way, for not making me get rid of any one-night-stands.”

He winced. “Pepper told you about that, huh?”

“Oh yeah. It was an actual part of my job description and everything.”

“Hmm. I'd like to think I'm making better life choices at this point.” He kissed her, hard and brief. “Which, I guess, means I should get up there before Steve calls again. Seeya later?”

“Sure.” Another kiss, this one longer and more involved. Eventually, though, he stepped back away from her. She watched him stoop to grab his shirt on his way out, and then he left the lab, leaving her alone on the desk.

“Clothes. Right.” Her clothes were all more-or-less beside her on the floor. Her panties appeared to be gone, though. They weren't on her skirt, they weren't on the floor, they were just... gone. She got her skirt on first and was just tucking the shirt into it when her phone rang from the pocket of her skirt. She fumbled for a second before pulling it out. _Pepper._

“Hello?” Her heart was pounding a mile a minute, this had the potential to either be really good, or really bad.

“Hi, Darcy.” Pepper sounded good. It was so good to hear her voice like that, Darcy breathed a sigh of relief. “How is everything?”

“Everything is good here. We just had a big something-or-another that no one's told me about yet, but everyone's in one piece. I'll probably hear about it later.”

“That's good to hear.” There was a pause. “How's Tony?”

It was Darcy's turn to pause. “He's good. He's distracting himself, mostly with work.” Mostly.

“That's good to hear.” The relief in Pepper's voice carried clearly across the connection. “I probably don't have to tell you I was a little bit worried. He's very... impulsive.”

Darcy looked down at her untucked shirt. That was a good word for it. “I know. How are you doing, though?”

“I expect to be home in the next couple of days.”

Darcy let out a long sigh of relief. “That's great! Can I tell everyone? They're debriefing or whatever, they'll all be together.”

“That's fine.” The smile carried just as well as the relief had. “I'll see you soon.”

“Yeah. I'm glad you're getting better.” Darcy thumbed her phone off, then immediately texted Tony: _Pepper's coming home in a couple of days._

Almost immediately she received a text back that said, _You're lucky I'm out of energy, or I'd already be on my way down there._

Followed just a few seconds later by her phone buzzing again. This time it was Steve. _Stop sending Tony dirty messages, it's hard enough getting him to concentrate as it is_.

 _I didn't! Pepper's coming back._ To which she got a smiley-face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually went fairly smoothly. Headcanon: Steve is obsessed with emoticons.


	9. Chapter 9

Pepper looked... great, actually. Rested, slightly tan, especially against her white woolen top. Apparently Darcy's hope about Bruce taking her somewhere warm and sunny might not have been too far from the truth.

Her desk, on the other hand, did not. Pepper was neat and precise and usually her desk reflected that, but today it was just one big sprawl of paper.

Darcy ignored the offered hand and went straight for the hug, and after just a second, the other woman returned her embrace.

Pulling back, Darcy said, “You look great. Are you feeling better?”

Pepper gestured to the uncomfortable seat across the desk from her own, and the two women sat down. Darcy shifted around, trying to get comfortable. The seat wanted to force her into good posture, and she didn't want to let it. “Thank you. I feel good. It was... No specifics, but this shouldn't happen again.”

“That's really good to hear.” Darcy nodded. “Just, curiosity, who exactly is this classified with? I mean, SHIELD's gone...”

The lip-pressing thing. That didn't take long, Darcy was hoping they'd get a little further into the meeting before it happened. “SHIELD isn't gone. Which reminds me...” Pepper looked down at the papers uncharacteristically scattered across her desk. “This is for you. This memo is unofficial, but you should expect SHIELD to be contacting you soon.”

It was Darcy's turn for the lip-pressing thing, with a sigh for added effect. “Uh huh. Thanks. Yaaay.” Her eyes skimmed over the paper for a moment before she folded it and slid it against her tablet, holding it there with her thumb. Her gaze moved back up to the woman across from her, searching for any sign of ailment. But Pepper just looked like Pepper- neat, impeccable, ready to take on the world. “But you're good? Like, not-having-to-take-off-out-of-nowhere-again good?”

“That's the hope, anyway. And I see the Tower didn't fall apart while I was gone.”

“It didn't. You might actually be able to take a vacation at some point.” Darcy was only half-kidding. Pepper worked hard, she deserved a break.

Pepper smiled a little, looking down at the mess across her desk. “We'll see about that. I'm not ruling it out.” She reached into her desk and pulled out an all-too-familiar manilla folder.

“Oh, not the Darcy-file.” Darcy made a face. “I hate that thing. It makes me feel like I'm a cog.”

Pepper's smile widened into a grin. “More like a pin, I'd say. I think without you, several things would have fallen apart. But your first quarterly review is a little overdue.”

Darcy closed her eyes, trying to sink down in the chair. It, of course, resisted her attempts at trying to hide. “Do we have to?”

“All top-level personnel get a quarterly review for the first year, then semiannually until you've been here for three years. It's not just an evaluation of you, it's also your evaluation of being here.” Pepper folded her hands on the desk and leaned forward a little. “This is a very high-stress job environment, especially considering what _you_ do, and we need to make sure you're being taken care of.”

Darcy blinked, trying not to give anything away with her expression. “Ooookay.” _I'm definitely being taken care of._

“Do you have any concerns with your job or your work environment?”

“No, I mean...” Darcy sighed, slouching back as much as she could. “I love it here. It's awesome. I don't, you know, get out much. This is a lifestyle, not just a job, but... it's pretty amazing.”

“The lecture last week was...” Pepper's lips twitched like she was trying not to smile this time.

“You know, I'm considering it a success, really. He was there and words came out of his mouth mostly related to the topic at hand, and he even managed to answer a few questions.”

“Tony was nothing but complimentary about you.” More lip-twitching.

“He's not going to sit in on this, is he?” Darcy looked around the office as though she was trying to find her boss.

“I told him no.”

Darcy breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” She wasn't really surprised that he'd asked.

“I think your work is exemplary. A little unorthodox at times, but sometimes you do what you have to when you're working for Tony Stark.” Darcy gave a heartfelt nod. “What is your evaluation of your direct supervisor? Anything you say to me will be kept in the strictest confidence.” Pepper's eyebrows rose just a fraction and she sat there, an expectant look on her face.

“Um... Well, he's an ass. I mean, I don't have to tell you that. And did he tell you that he tried to fire me?”

Pepper seemed unable to stop the smile of amusement this time, trying to hide it by shifting the papers on her desk. “So things are going well, then?”

Darcy grinned. “Yeah, basically.”

“Do you have anything else you want to discuss in regards to your employment with Stark Industries?”

“No, I'm... I'm good.”

Pepper nodded. She made a note on the paper on top of the file, then closed it and tucked it away again. “Thank you, Darcy. Tony can be difficult to deal with at the best of times, and I came back to find everything more-or-less in one piece.”

“Yeah, hey, no problem. He's, you know... He's Tony.” She offered a kind of a shrug.

“Yes. I do know.” Pepper stood, prompting Darcy to stand too. Darcy's back thanked her. “Remember, my door is always open.”

“I will. Thanks, Pepper.” Darcy flashed and grin and turned to leave. She was almost out the door when the CEO's voice called her attention back.

“And Darcy, just... Just be careful. He doesn't have a company to sign over this time around.” Pepper's eyes reached out to her. This was a personal warning, nothing to do with the job. _Pepper knows._ Not that Tony was exactly subtle, or anything even remotely close. She would consider herself lucky if Tony hadn't included a list of his favorite body parts of hers when he told Pepper what he thought of her.

“I will.” Walking back through the hall, Darcy took out her phone and checked it, but didn't put it away. Sure enough, it was only a second or two before the beginning of _I Am Iron Man_ started, and Darcy answered the phone. “Technically I'm off the clock, you know.”

“What did you say about me?” Of course he would ask that. She'd been expecting that.

Darcy grinned as her heels took her almost-silently over the omnipresent gray carpet out to where the elevator was. “It's confidential.”

“Would you tell me if I asked with my head between your legs?”

Her belly flipped over. “It's nothing I haven't told you to your face.”

“You told her I'm an ass?” He sounded just vaguely hurt by that.

“I'm hanging up now. I have earned at least an hour or two of Tony-free time.” She hung up the phone before he was able to proposition her any further.

Shirtless Thor was sitting on one of the white couches in the foyer when the elevator let Darcy off on that floor. His hair was still wet, apparently he'd _just_ finished training and the post-sparring shower. He grinned broadly at her when he saw her, immediately rising to his feet.

“Who were you beating the shit out of today?” She didn't stop, it wouldn't exactly be difficult for him to catch up to her with those long legs of his.

“Natasha and Steve.” Sure enough, it wasn't long before he fell in step beside her.

“Huh.” Darcy put her tongue out and licked her lips. “Any injuries?” He smelled _amazing_. Like leather and that charged-rain smell just before a storm. He must have _just_ finished the sparring match, because he was practically oozing testosterone. “Is there a storm coming or something? You seem a little... charged.”

“Yes. I thought combat would help, but instead...” There was a sound very like the rumble of thunder coming up from deep in his chest, and Darcy's mouth was very suddenly dry.

She stopped and turned to him, finding him a lot closer than she thought he'd be. “You can't just make noises like that out here in public with your shirt- hey!”

His large hands closed on either side of her waist and she found herself lifted, moving through the air for a moment before her stomach connected with the hard line of his shoulder. There was nothing left to say, though _take me now_ kept running through her head. She could already feel her body reacting to the primal energy he was giving off; this felt _way_ hotter than it looked when he did it to Jane.

His arm hooked over her thighs, keeping her in place as he strode quickly down the hall. She had no idea _where_ they were going, but there was the beeping of a code being entered, then the click of a door unlocking.

He started moving again, and she very soon found herself dumped rather unceremoniously on a couch- her couch, in fact. She looked up to see him kneeling on the floor beside the couch, blue eyes staring intensely back. “Will you attend me?” he asked solemnly.

 _Holy balls._ It took her a second before her vocal cords would actually do what she wanted them to. “Yeah.”

He rose, taking her her hand and pulling her up and against him in one smooth motion. His eyes searched hers for just a moment before he leaned down until his lips captured hers. He took charge of her mouth with his lips and his tongue, hands roaming almost frantically along her sides and over her back.

She broke the kiss, pulling back to look up into his eyes. She could swear she saw the white arc of lightning moving through them. “Hey. You were so good to me last time, let me take care of this, okay?”

He nodded, and she leaned forward to kiss the center of his chest, as high as she could go without things getting uncomfortable. She stepped back just long enough to shed her tank top and jeans, her glasses going on the table beside the couch. Being free to touch as much as she wanted was awesome; she ran her hands ran up his torso to his shoulders, feeling the hard ridges and lines of muscles still coiled with adrenaline. She dug in her fingers a little as she brought them back down, her fingernails scoring over the bunched muscles, over his nipples, making him rumble again.

His hands roamed over her back, like he was just unable to keep still. He let her explore at her pace, though, those intense blue eyes taking in every movement.

Her fingers found the fly of his jeans and made quick work of it. Apparently Thor was a commando kind of guy; when the jeans slid down his hips, Darcy suddenly had a hand full of cock. He was thick, uncut, perfect. She explored him with her hands, all the while keeping her eyes locked on his. She took a step back and leaned over to lick the indent down the left side of his pelvis, then slowly, so slowly swirled her tongue around just the head of his cock.

She looked up, grinning a little. “You're very tall. This will be easier if you sit down.”

He lowered herself onto her couch, and she sank to her knees between his legs, hands never leaving his cock. She shifted a little until she was comfortable, then leaned forward, opening her mouth to lick him again.

One of his hands caressed over her cheek and pushed into her hair, tangling there. He didn't pull her down, though, simply held her.

She licked down the underside of his penis until she reached the coarse hair at the base, then back up far enough to close her mouth around him, slowly sucking him deep inside as far as she could. His fingers tightened in her hair as his cock nudged the back of her throat, but she couldn't stay like that for very long, and she pulled back until he was almost all the way out of her mouth. Her tongue danced along the bottom of his erection as she started sliding her mouth up and down, sucking slightly for a constant, steady pressure.

His other hand came to rest on the other side of her head, not pushing, just gently guiding her into the rhythm he wanted. She let him dictate the pace, her fingers firmly around the base of his cock as she bobbed between his legs.

Neither of them noticed the door open and close, unaware they were no longer alone until someone else spoke.

“Don't stop on my account,” came Tony's voice over by the door. “No, really don't. That's actually kinda hot.”

Darcy was sure that she was blushing enough that she was just going to spontaneously combust, but Thor's hands heavy on her head just kept guiding her in what she was doing.

“Here, do you mind if I...” She was listening for him, now, and she heard the sound of his feet moving over her carpet. They came close and then stopped, and then the shift of fabric as though he was moving and then-

Her head did come up then, pushing past Thor's large hands and completely releasing him from her mouth as she felt a finger stroking over the silky fabric between her legs. She looked over her shoulder to see Tony had crouched down beside her, the same intensity in his eyes that she saw in Thor's. “Don't stop. You can't stop there, that's not right. Just pretend I'm not here.” His finger slipped under the edge of her panties, sliding unerringly between her labia, and she gasped.

“That's not fair.”

“What's not fair is you stopping in the middle of a perfectly good blowjob.” His finger slid across her clit just once and then stopped. “I keep going when you do.”

She stared at him for a moment, then turned back to the god on the couch in front of her. She let her mouth engulf him again, and was immediately rewarded by Tony's finger gliding across her clit. Just the idea that there were two men in the same vicinity with her while her clothes were mostly off was almost enough to make her come on the spot.

“What's your refractory period like, big guy?” Tony asked, as though they were sitting together over a game of cards instead of driving Darcy slowly insane. “How long after orgasm to you have to wait before you're ready to go again?”

“On a night such as this- not long.” There was an edge to Thor's voice, a strain; he was nowhere near as calm as Tony was.

“The storm? Good to know. I'm a mere mortal- well, mortal anyway- but we'll make it work. That is... I'm sorry, Darcy, I'm completely leaving you out of the decision. Do you want to fuck both of us? At the same time, I mean.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, exhaling a long moan through her nose. Thor seemed to appreciate her reaction because he started rocking up into her mouth, rumbling again. That was quite possibly the best offer she'd ever had.

“That seems to be a yes.” Tony was doing a great job of getting her going, but there wasn't quite enough friction to get her _off_. Thor wasn't suffering the same fate, though, and when she brought up her other hand to lightly cup his balls, his movements became jerky as his fingers twitched in her hair, and she sped up just a little, urging him on until-

He came in hot spurts, filling her mouth with the tang of his semen. Darcy swallowed, slowing her movements gradually to a stop so that she wouldn't overwhelm him with sensation. He grasped her around the waist and lifted her up to press a gentle kiss against her lips, laying her across his chest. “Lovely Darcy, you are truly magnificent.”

“Of course.” She smiled and gave him another quick kiss. “You, however...” She turned her her attention to the man still crouching on the floor. “You are a tease.” She'd heard the term 'aching with desire' before, but now she was actually kinda getting where it came from. She was hot all over, and she _needed_ so much that it almost ached.

“A little. Maybe. I am prepared to make it up to you, though. Turn around.”

With Thor's help she got turned around, her back pressed against the line of his chest. Tony made quick work of her panties, stripping them down and off, though the look in his eye as he did made something click together in her brain.

“You took them.”

“Took what?” His hands moved under her knees, lifting and spreading them to hook over Thor's legs, leaving her wide open for him.

“My underwear, after we fucked in your lab! I couldn't find-” She stopped talking as he slid two fingers deep inside her pussy, instead pushing her hips up into him. When his tongue touched her clit, she moaned, head falling back against Thor's shoulder.

She _felt_. The push-pull of his fingers moving inside her, the sinuous dance of his tongue... And then two more hands coming around the front of her breasts, cupping them through the fabric of her bra. It was the fastest orgasm she ever had, shaking between the attention of the two men.

But they weren't done. She wasn't even finished coming down from her high when she found the cups of her bra pulled down until her breasts spilled out into Thor's large hands, her nipples pinched and rolled between fingers and thumbs. And Tony, bless him, didn't even slow down the movement of his tongue, even when it became too much and she tried to squirm away. Instead he eased his fingers out of her, replacing them with his thumb. She wanted to ask what he was doing, but she couldn't find the words.

She soon found out, though, as his finger circled her puckered hole before sliding just inside, still slick from being buried in her pussy. The movements of his tongue slid over that barrier between _too much_ and _not enough_ and she bucked into him, her hands flying up around the back of Thor's neck to tangle desperately in his hair.

His finger and thumb moved in and out in tandem, and then his lips closed around her clit and he sucked, tongue continuing to flick over it. The pull and twist at her nipples grew more insistent, and she could feel Thor was hard again, rocking a little bit against her back. She was squirming, writhing, unable too keep still because it was just so much and it felt so good...

“Oh, holy _fuck_!” she yelled as she clamped down on Tony's hand, her thighs straining and shaking around Thor's legs.

Tony did ease back this time, and the touch at her breasts lightened to a gentle caress. Darcy hung there, eyes closed, bones complete jelly as she blissed out.

“I think you broke her,” came the rumble from behind her, faintly amused and faintly accusatory.

“We, my friend. We broke her.” Nothing but smug-ass pride.

“I'm still here.” It took more effort than she wanted to admit to force the words out. “Still...” One of her hands came away from the blond web it was tangled in and she waved it feebly. “Keep going, I'll catch up.”

Large hands closed over her hips, lifting her, shifting her back-

-her eyes flew open and she sat straight up as she felt herself impaled on Thor's perfect cock in one smooth motion. He felt so good inside of her, his girth making her glad that she was wet as hell. Darcy was definitely alert now. “Oh, _fuck_.” She swayed a little, hands coming forward to grip his knees. That was the only way she could get any leverage, her feet were dangling clear off the floor. “That's... Mm...” Fingers were gripping her hips tightly enough that she'd probably have bruises later, but for right now she just didn't care. He was holding her steady and he started to move, driving up into her, as hard as though she hadn't recently sucked him off.

Speaking of sucking off... She looked up to see Tony watching them, eyes dark. “Come- mm- come here.”

He smirked, but his hands made quick work of his own pants and shorts, and then he was walking towards her, just the perfect height... Her tongue swiped over the head of his cock, then she held her mouth open so that he could push inside. He held her head, a hand on each side, and fucked her mouth the same way he'd just fucked her with his thumb- steady, fast, unrelenting.

She felt held in limbo between them, her fingernails digging into the golden skin of the god beneath her. Flesh thrust in and withdrew. She tried to move, to push back against either one of them, but she was held in place. That realization made her stop breathing, just for a second. The idea that they were holding her still to take their pleasure made her pussy clench around Thor.

Thor was rumbling, movements turning from smooth strokes into jerky thrusts, and she _felt_ him pulse inside of her. The hands on her hips relaxed, letting her sit down on his pelvis. After just a moment she felt him nudging her clit with one blunt finger, seeming to know that she needed a gentle touch against her hypersensitized flesh. He drew light, lazy circles, and she started moaning through her nose.

“Whatever you're doing to her, don't stop; that feels amazing,” Tony breathed, and it wasn't long before his movements became shallow, and then he was coming in her mouth, fingers tangling her hair.

Tony withdrew, still gently cradling her head. Thor didn't stop and she needed _more_ ; she started squirming against his hand to try and get more friction. He obliged, finger moving faster, harder. The room was filled with ragged breathing and breathless whimpers. There was a shoulder under Darcy's chin and, and she turned blindly to rest her cheek against it as arms came around her shoulders, holding her.

“Next time,” Tony's smooth voice was a little raspy as it filled her ear. “Next time I'll be in your ass as Thor fucks that beautiful cunt-”

The dirty promise, the touch against her sensitive clit, the fact that she'd just had _two_ men come inside of her... Darcy was flying again. She needed to grab on, to hold onto something- her mouth closed over the flesh under it to muffle her scream, her hands gripping desperately as someone stroked her hair, soothing her...

“Sorry I crashed your sex,” someone- Tony- was saying as she came back to herself. He sounded so _normal_ , as though the earth hadn't just completely shattered. And not sorry in the slightest.

“It was my pleasure,” Thor replied, sounding just as pleased with himself.

Gentle hands were pulling her, lifting her, laying her on her side on something soft. Someone was rubbing her back, her hip, and then a familiar smell pricked at her nostrils.

“Coffee.”

Thor was laughing, and she could practically _hear_ Tony smirking. She cracked an eye open and found herself face-to-porcelain with her favorite mug, filled to the brim with perfect, perfect coffee.

Her head still felt like it was floating somewhere up in Tony's penthouse, and she sat up, leaning heavily against- Thor. Thor was the one beside her, whose large hands were making soothing patterns on her hip.

Tony _was_ smirking, she discovered as she looked up, hands reaching for the coffee. It took about a third of the cup before she was ready to make actual sensical words come out of her mouth. “You didn't mind?” she asked, turning to the the large blond by her side. “He just kinda... Showed up.”

“We have discussed this,” he answered, pulling her over until she was resting against him.

“You're a very popular topic of conversation,” Tony added.

She wanted to complain, but there were still too many endorphins for her to bring herself to care. She took another swallow of coffee, washing away the last of the salty taste of their come. That brought up another question. “Neither of you... have anything, right?” Probably something she should have sorted out first.

“We have you,” the large blond by her side said. And really, it was the cheesiest cheese that ever cheesed, but it made Darcy smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, basically I noticed that each chapter was getting dirtier and dirtier and I kinda ended up... here. Usually I post in the morning, but this was burning a hole in my computer. Thanks for reading, it's been fun! :D


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